Referee Dave Roberts plans to get the football season off to a flier on Saturday - he and his two assistants are arriving at their Albany Northern League match by plane.
Dave - appropriately Sky Sports' man in the North-East - will pilot his own four seater Cessna Cardinal from Teesside to Newcastle Airport, just a long goal kick from Newcastle Blue Star's Wheatsheaf ground.
The FA initially wanted to air brush the idea. "There've been a lot of e-mails from the FA about safety and possible delays but they now seem satisfied" says 38-year-old Dave, a referee for seven years.
"I've assured the Blue Star officials that I'll only charge the usual mileage rate - by road."
He has part owned the plane for four years but never previously had a match at Blue Star's Wheatsheaf ground, where huge planes regularly take off over the bottom goal.
"We should actually land about 300 yards from the ground. I think we can walk the rest of the way," adds Dave, from Ingleby Barwick, near Thornaby.
Assistant refs Graham Leatherland, also from Ingleby Barwick, and Andy Hodgson from Redcar have been just as keen to flag up the idea. "Andy's going so berserk he's demanding a fly past over their house," says Dave, who hopes to touch down about 90 minutes before the match against Tow Law.
Albany Northern League secretary Tony Golightly said that three match officials flying together to a non-league fixture was believed unique. "We've always been high fliers in this league, but once they get to Blue Star I'm sure the lads will be quickly back down to earth."
Cedric English, a South African playing for Scotland, helped create a little bit of cricket history last week.
English bagged a hat-trick in the one day friendly against Durham at the Ropery Lane ground in Chester-le-Street - in the same match that Dewald Pretorius, another South African, claimed three in three for Durham.
"I've never come across hat-tricks on both sides in the same match," confirms the Bearded Wonder, though Durham were on the receiving end in a County Championship match in 1994 when Leicestershire's Vince Wells in the first innings and Alamgir Sheriyar in the second both took hat tricks.
The speedy Pretorius, professional at South Northumberland, had figures of 5-2-4-4 - one of the runs a wide - when taken off to allow Scotland to make more of a game of it. The director of cricket across the border is now Darlington born former England quickie Mike Hendrick.
Peter Willis, top referee and former polliss, has helped clear up another little mystery.
Friday's column on Ray Pallister - president of the Durham Senior Cricket League and still skittling 'em at 71 - said that he'd also played alongside P N Willis, goalkeeper, in the Cassop Victoria team that won the Durham FA Trophy.
"He couldn't have done," protests Ralph Petitjean from Ferryhill. "My brother George kept goal in that side and was buried with the medal.
"He always said that if he never had a penny in his pocket, he still wouldn't part with that medal."
We've checked with Durham FA - the Vic won the Trophy just once, in 1956 - and with Peter Willis, now immediate past president of the Referees' Association but still its main man.
"It couldn't have been me, because I was in Cyprus with the Royal Horse Guards in 1956," he says.
He was demobbed in 1957, joined Durham Constabulary, kept goal for Willington and Langley Park before being posted to Cassop (cum Quarrington) in 1959 - when he went between the sticks with the Vics.
"We were in the Durham Central League and still had a great team, mainly thanks to Tom Wilson, the secretary. The best thing about it was that we changed in the pub," says Peter.
Though they didn't win the Trophy in his five years, there were any amount of league and Aged Miners' Cup medals from the Victoria reign. He keeps them all, alongside his FA Cup medal and the one for the Alderman Wraith Grammar School in Spennymoor winning the Northumberland and Durham Shield.
"I was centre forward in those days, scored the winner from 30 yards, left foot."
George Petitjean, 21 at the time of the Vic's finest hour, died in 1984. Cassop beat Easington 1-0, Easington forward David Carr - later to score goals for Darlington, Workington and Watford - carried off after 20 minutes.
Problem solved, Ralph is also keen that we reminisce about the Bishop Middleham Casuals team of the 1960s - "what a great side" - but that's another story.
An annual source of innocent merriment, Durham FA's new handbook has arrived. Within its 276 pages are the first football team to be named after a postcode - Come on you Sunderland SR1 - and the first, Team-Intermedia.com, also in Sunderland, to be an e-mail address.
"I think second one's an advert. There's nothing in the rules to prevent either," says DFA secretary John Topping.
The usual versatile assortment of cricket, rugby and snooker clubs are still playing football, together with our old friends of Shildon BR Orphans, who might like to play at Hartlepool Nursery.
The Horse and Groom (Castleside) may also feel at home at the Stables (Sunderland), though the Poacher (Swalwell) should perhaps watch out for the Dog and Gun if visiting Etherley.
Another idle moment on the train back from Saturday's match provides a team of feathered friend football clubs: The Bird (Dipton), Merlin (Billingham), Swan (Billingham), Falcons (Chester-le-Street), Peacock (Tanfield), Mallard (Gateshead), Seagull (Crimdon), Swifts (Houhgton-le-Spring), Kestrel (Seaham), Grey Hen (South Shields) and Eagle (Wardley).
Doubtless blessed with flying wingers, they could play at the Dovecote (Trimdon) or maybe the Green Tree at Bishop.
Perhaps the most interesting of the new arrivals, however, is New World Order FC, from Stockton, who play in the Stockton Sunday League. The new order has to start somewhere.
Somewhat sceptically, we reported a year ago that the inaugural football competition for Tyneside's lesbians had taken place on Exhibition Park, Newcastle.
Kevin O'Beirne points out that the ladies' day has been held again - "so if you were hoping to cover it for Backtrack, tough luck."
Kevin's source is The Crack, a local listings magazine. It doesn't go into much detail, he says, save that 11 teams of "active, attractive, frustrated PE teachers" took part - and that the player of the tournament award went to someone wearing a pink bridesmaid's dress.
...and finally
The successful pop group named after a Football League manager (Backtrack, August 9) is Dario G, in honour of Crewe Alexandra's durable Mr Gradi. (They'd have had a number one, apparently, but Candle in the Wind was burning bright at the same time.)
One minute question - the Scottish League team in which the letter "s" appears three times.
Essential, the column returns on Friday.
Published: 13/08/2002
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