FOR the past few weeks, there has been a line at the bottom of this column stating: "Ruth Campbell is on holiday." That, I have to confess, was a lie. Not that I was deliberately deceiving you. I was all packed and ready to go when, days before our ferry was due to sail - five weeks before I was due to give birth - a routine scan revealed a potential problem and my consultant advised I shouldn't travel.
So the three older boys went off with dad while I stayed behind with the little one to holiday at home. All that peace, all that quiet, all that free time and what did I do? Not rest, that's for sure. I have spent three weeks dementedly clearing out cupboards and drawers, crawling under beds, feverishly lugging boxes out of the attic and dragging bags out from under the stairs.
I have, in the style of that recent inspirational TV series Life Laundry, been decluttering my home and, with it, my life. This is something most of us tend only do when in the throes of great emotional upheaval such as expecting a baby, divorcing or moving house.
And I can recommend it as the greatest therapy of all time. For every bin bag full of old clothes I despatched to the charity shop, I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders. As the days went on, I became more and more ruthless and the sense of release increased.
Dad and the boys were ringing me with tales of fishing trips, sailing expeditions and mountain climbing. But I had my own peaks to conquer.
All those little first toddler shoes I had been clinging onto had to go. Treasured memories of the boys taking their first steps may be important, but the shoes weren't. The same went for the cute, but old, baby outfits I couldn't part with. Out, out, out.
The carry cot pram we bought for our first-born eleven years ago - which won't fit in our car boot - ended up on the council skip, alongside dozens more, piled up waiting to be destroyed. With the fashion for smaller, more practical, prams, nobody wants them now.
Suddenly, I could open cupboards or reach for a jacket and get just what I wanted without everything tumbling around me in a messy heap. Whole swathes of neat, organised space opened up before me. The extra room, and sense of calm which surrounded it, was much more valuable than the clutter I had built up over the years. I tipped out bathroom drawers and rid them of the jars and pots and bottles that had lain unused for so long.
Unwanted presents, such as the naff crystal decanter with matching glasses and the twee lace doilies all had to go. I faced up to the fact I would never use four milk pans, three pizza slice cutters, eight vases and twelve egg-cups - at least, not in one sitting.
Opening my newly cleared-out drawers and cupboards, it feels as if I am breathing in the fresh sea air I should have been enjoying on holiday. The whole cathartic process has been energising. My mind feels clearer, my life appears more organised. At last, there is space for the new.
*Ruth Campbell was not on holiday but is, at last, completely de-cluttered
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