Stocksbridge slaughter

The tally is by no means a record, though Paul Jackson's ten goals in an FA Cup match equals Chris Marron's ten for South Shields in the 13-0 win over Radcliffe Welfare in September 1947 - a match inexplicably played on Cleadon Rec, described in the Shields Gazette as "the home of local schoolboy football."

It was also the day that Tommy Lawton rejected a £16,000 bid from Sunderland, that the Durham County Cricket League was formed and that Stanley Matthews - "the talk of this gay city" - made all England's goals against Belgium in the 5-2 win at the Heysel Stadium.

The Stocksbridge slaughter was also the biggest FA Cup win since Ferryhill Athletic put 18 past Skinningrove Works - who clearly had an off-day - in September 1953.

"Ferryhill were so superior that it developed into a farce," reported the Echo, though Readman in the Skinningrove goal - anyone know what happened to him? - was said to have made "spectacular saves" when not picking the ball from the net.

Elsewhere that September Saturday, 35-year-old Eddie Carr hit a hat-trick for Darlington Reserves against Sunderland Reserves, 18-year-old Brian Clough hit two for Boro Reserves against Huddersfield Reserves and Hartlepools centre-forward Les Wildon scored one of his 87 League goals for the club in the 1-0 derby win over the Quakers.

The record score in 55,000 FA Cup ties remains Preston's 26-0 against Hyde in 1888, followed - with thanks to David Barber in the FA library - by 19s for Oswestry Town and Staveley and four more 18s.

Ferryhill's included four goals from Norman Allen and Ken Kitching and hat tricks by Fred Maughan and Ron Duery. The Northern League club reached the first round proper, 500 fans travelling to Workington to witness their 3-0 defeat.

South Shields, these days less sure footed in the sand dance, lost 2-1 at home on Saturday to Hallam. Hallam, for their merits, now travel across Sheffield to play their impenetrable neighbours from Stocksbridge Park Steels.

The column watched the preliminary round match between Horden CW and Trafford, "Tino" - otherwise Horden's 17 stone goalkeeper Stephen Tierney - very much in evidence.

"He's on a pie diet," said club treasurer Bill Haddick.

Victorious over a side two levels further up the Pyramid, Tino and Co now face Albany Northern League second division colleagues Shotton Comrades - t'other side of the A19 - in the first qualifying round on September 14.

The "side stake", thanks to AXA and the FA, is £7,500. The ANL second division champions get £1,200.

Clearly intent on showing the lad the sights, chairman George took the more sought after Tino to the Wearside League game between Darlington RA v New Marske last Wednesday, though they never left the clubhouse.

"He was as good as gold, signing autographs and chatting," reports our man in the RA area.

Who paid for the drinks is undisclosed, though a Darlington website records a fan's particular dismay at Asprilla's sudden departure - "I lent him a tenner at the Carlisle match".

Whether this is a joke is uncertain. Mr Asprilla, sadly, has been unavailable for comment.

Perfectly preserved, more loss than profit, Darlington Football Club's annual accounts for 1926-27 and 1928-29 have been loaned by Terry Garnett.

Wages in 1928-29 amounted to £4,296 11s 4d - less than the wretched Asprilla was to have been paid in a week - hotel and travelling expenses were £1,037 14s 4d and upkeep of the ground £71 16s 1d.

Total income of £8,715 8s 10d included £441 17s from the Northern Despatch's "Shilling Fund" - not the last time that the dear old Despatch tried to save the town's club. The debt, despite the willing shillings, was over £2,500.

Two seasons earlier, the club's only flirtation with the second division - which also included Manchester City, Fulham, Southampton, Chelsea and Middlesbrough - things had proved rather more expensive.

Income was £11,743 (and coppers), expenditure £14,019. Season ticket sales of £905 were over £500 below budget; wages were £7,225 19s 5d.

Darlington struggled all season, needing to win their final three games - all at Feethams - to survive.

They submerged South Shields 8-2 - Tom Ruddy, signed from Stockton Shamrocks, hitting five - beat Swansea Town 3-1 but before almost 13,000 spectators could only draw 2-2 with Chelsea in their last fixture.

"Your directors are naturally very disappointed....but it is the intention of the board and players to strain every nerve to regain that status," said the annual report.

Unfortunately, of course, they never, ever did.

Darlington's return to third class citizenship could hardly have been more dramatic, Chelsea equalising with 40 seconds remaining after Quakers left back Martin Joyce failed to hoof the ball into the adjacent Skerne - "it seemed all Lombard Street to a China orange that he would," observed the Echo's correspondent - and was crucially robbed of it.

"The devil himself seemed to have gripped him," added the Echo. "The crowd's enthusiasm gave way to a sorrowful silence." Joyce never played for Darlington again.

Newcastle, already first division champions, were losing 1-0 at Leicester; Boro, top of the second, were "booed and hissed" after a 1-0 win at Swansea; 4,000 watched Crook Town's 5-0 triumph over Stanley United in the Crook Nursing Cup final.

The Durham Central League held its 21st anniversary dinner with Wheatley Hill Colliery as champions, West Stanley Races staged a two day meeting at Twizell Park, Ludworth Golf Club members voted 31-21 against allowing play on Sundays and Durham City's 1-1 draw at Walsall ensured that they fought another season in the Third Division (North).

Tonight at their home match with Billingham Synthonia, City celebrate 50 years continuous Northern League membership. More of that on Friday.

A final paragraph from the Echo of May 9 1927: Middlesbrough - "having had experience of the game" - beat Leeds 8-2 in a "motor cycle football match" at Headingley. What on earth was that, then? That well known motor cycling footballer Steve Harland may be able to offer enlightenment.

Down on Teesside on Saturday, our talkative old friend Brent "Bomber" Smith - 50 gone March - was pushing back the years with a rare all-round performance for Thornaby side Stafford Place against Ingleby Greenhow.

Opening the batting ("there were four unavailable") Bomber hit 58 - his last Saturday half century was for Norton Fourths against Loftus 33 years ago.

Stafford Place amassed 202-7, Ingleby were skittled for 30, Bomber claimed a hat-trick - all bowled - with the last three balls of his sixth over. He also hit the stumps with the first ball of the next - the umpire, "rather late", no balled him - but bowled the last man next ball to finish with 8-13.

It was his first Saturday hat-trick since Shildon BR v Leadgate in 1988, though his second in August for Stafford Place, who also have a midweek team.

The column is due to present Stafford Place's annual awards next month. After all that, it may be impossible to get a word in edgeways.

Word in edgeways? Here's the message left by the Masons Arms at Middlestone Moor (now without the trust Captain Flint) on Over 40s League secretary Kip Watson's answering machine on Saturday: "Hiya Kip, just ringing with the score against Killingworth. See you later, thank you."

And finally...

The three cricketers who've played for Durham in the Sunday leagues but never in the county championship (Backtrack, August 30) are Geoff Cook (twice, in 1992), Gary Wigham (once, also in 1992) and the Yorkshireman Ryan Robinson, who turned out ten times on the Sabbath.

When South Shields weren't playing FA Cup games on Cleadon Rec, what - readers may today care to consider - was the name of their apparently much more stately home.

We return, statesmanlike, on Friday.

Published: 03/09/2002