THE big countryside event of the weekend may well be tomorrow's rally in London, but starting today in the American state of Montana is an even less appetising rural pursuit: the 20th Montana Testicle Festival.
This festival revolves around the parts of a bull which are surplus to requirement once it has been neutered. Last year, two-and-a-half tons of such items were fed to the 15,000 people who attended the festival at Rock Creek Lodge which is near the appropriately-named town of Clinton.
The lodge owner, Rod Lincoln, takes the "Rocky Mountain Oysters", removes the skin, soaks them for an hour, marinates them in beer, breads them four times and then deep fries them. The result is a big, flat biscuit-shaped delicacy that tastes like meaty chicken.
Mr Lincoln says that the "cowboy caviar" should be a staple part of everyone's diet. "They're 70 per cent or more protein and, obviously, they're boneless," he says.
Such peculiar rural behaviour is not confined to a Montanan corner of the wild west. Although Rock Creek Lodge's is the biggest and best, testicle festivals are springing up all over North America. Except in the town of Byron in Illinois, where they are currently preparing for their 24th Annual Turkey Testicle Festival which begins on October 12.
The answer to the question you are undoubtedly forming politely in your mind is internal, egg-shaped and two to three inches long. These, too, are battered and deep fried.
ONE quintessential piece of England is facing a tragically uncertain future this week, and no one will be holding a rally to save it.
"Built since 1877 in Great Britain for the world's best travelled babies," says the home page of Silver Cross' website. But no more. On Monday it was announced that, with a £3m hole in its accounts, the famous pram company was in receivership and up for sale. A third of its 125 staff in West Yorkshire were laid off.
Silver Cross opened Britain's first perambulator factory 125 years ago. With its handmade steel construction, it became known as the "Rolls-Royce of prams" (Rolls-Royce cars are, of course, now owned by a German company). It was the natural start to the life of any baby whose parents hoped it would be going somewhere.
But times change. In a Silver Cross pram, the baby faces backwards and has a concertina hood to go over its head. Thirty years ago, though, someone invented the forward-facing buggy which was made out of nasty, cheap, lightweight plastic. To make matters worse, the baby buggy folds up at the kick of a switch and fits into the boot of the smallest of Japanese cars.
So far, the baby buggy has pushed 200 traditional pram firms out of business and, if no buyer can be found, Silver Cross will cease trading at the end of this month.
EVEN German politics can be interesting. The Conservative alliance campaigned in 1998 under the slogan "three women can't be wrong" - a reference to the three divorces of the Social Democrats' leader, Gerhard Schrder. This time to force him from office they've enlisted his third ex-wife, Hillu, who is appearing in adverts with the slogan: "I left my husband; you can do it too!"
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