300 miles from BHS and bobbies
Think of desert and you think of sand. Lots of sand and not much else. So the possibility of intrepid traveller Michael Palin finding enough in the Sahara desert to keep us interested over four episodes looks unlikely.
The Sahara doesn't even seem that far away as he gazes at Africa across the straits of Gibraltar. "What terrors can it hold, only 300 miles from British Home Stores, bobbies and a pint of warm beer?" he asks as Gibraltar's famous apes steal his lunch from his pocket.
When the Monty Python funny man made his first TV journey, attempting to go around the world in 80 days, there was a genuine sense of, if not exactly danger, then a feeling that things might go wrong. In these days of been there and done that, either personally or through TV, you know his trip will have been planned down to the last detail. The likelihood of something unexpected happening is remoter than Alaska.
Camels play a large role in his journey, so he tried out his riding skills on the beach at Tangier. He didn't fall off but admits to a slight feeling of vertigo astride these ships of the desert. He'll also be eating a lot of them. The menu on the first three days consisted of nothing but camel. You can buy a camel's head for £4, although this is not the best bit of the animal for cooking. Palin makes a note to pass on this information to Delia Smith. Camels are also involved in a game, similar to draughts, played by the locals. All you need are some sticks and camel droppings.
At last, he reaches the desert and "the sort of sand dunes you only see on date packets". Only it's not all that peaceful as dozens of noisy vehicles competing in the Paris to Dakar rally come hurtling past him. The Sahara seems as busy as the life of the Rolling Stones featured in Fame, Set And Match, which followed the ups and downs of five women in their lives - Marianne Faithfull, Bianca Jagger, Anita Pallenberg, Jerry Hall and Mandy Smith.
"Would you let your daughter marry a Rolling Stone?," they used to say in the Sixties. On the evidence here, the answer is no, unless it's Charlie Watts, married since 1964 to the same woman. The narration was enjoyably bitchy, distasteful even. Guitarist Brian Jones was said to have "gone off the deep end" - a reference to being found dead in a swimming pool.
Those interviewed didn't hold back. Kenny Lynch thought Faithfull was "a real nutter" and Bianca Jagger "a bit of a gold-digger". No wonder she was upset when Mick, who makes Scrooge look like the last of the big spenders, presented her with a pre-nuptial agreement on their wedding day.
Bianca did not endear herself to the Stones entourage. As one says: "British pop stars tend to have girlfriends who serve on the sweet counter at Woolworths, they were not fabulous exotic creatures from Latin America."
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