BUXOM women bursting out of bras on advertising hoardings or scantily clad and draped across shiny bonnets in showrooms have been trying to sell cars for as long as I can remember.

From Jayne Mansfield stretched across a Ford in the Fifties to ballerina Darcey Bussell festooned across an Audi just last week, this sort of cheap, downmarket posturing just won't go away.

Minister for Women Patricia Hewitt says it is sexist, old-fashioned and offensive to women. But isn't she missing the point? Because these adverts are aimed at the sort of dim, inadequate blokes who associate cars with sexual potency. If they drive the one in the picture, says the subliminal message, they will be able to pull long-legged babes in bikinis.

But men can't really be that dopey, sad and superficial. Can they? Market research presumably says otherwise, or car manufacturers wouldn't be spending so much on such tactics.

So why aren't more blokes complaining? It's time they had a Minister for Men to fight their corner.

ONE of the reasons Estelle Morris gave for resigning from her job was that she wasn't "enjoying" it any more. She'd loved being Schools Minister, she said, but didn't enjoy being Education Secretary. So she gave it up. Is Miss Morris blind to the fact that most people work - whether in factories, shops, building sites or call centres - because they have to. If they enjoy their jobs they are extremely lucky, if they don't they put up with it. Miss Morris should be more sensitive to others with little option but to stick with it. And she should be thankful more teachers don't follow her example and give up because they aren't enjoying their jobs enough.

I HAD to watch Popstars, The Rivals, this week from behind a cushion as it turned out to be the most cringe-making, embarrassing show ever shown on TV. Just as two nervous young hopefuls were due to be dumped following a viewers' phone poll, one of the more talented contestants, Peter Smith, confessed, live on air, he had lied about his age. Dewy-eyed, he said he had discussed it with judge Pete Waterman and had to leave. Clearly, the show's producers weren't going to let him go quietly. Presenter Davina McCall feigned shock and burst into tears. Other contestants blubbed. People in the audience wept. When Waterman was asked for his view, he swallowed hard and mouthed "Can't speak". Peter was asked to perform one last time, to a chorus of sobs. This was a cynical attempt to wring every last drop of emotion out of these poor youngsters in order to make entertainment. But this was just too false, staged and cruel. Viewers aren't that gullible.

WE went to Thorp Perrow Arboretum, near Bedale, at the weekend for a Hallowe'en walk, accompanied by witches and other woodland characters. Some were actors, others local people dressed up. A rather posh, Southern woman behind us smirked to her friend: "How come so many of the witches have strong Yaaarkshire accents?" Quick as a flash, someone in front replied: "Because they're Yaaarkshire witches." Quite.