Taking to the roof of his parish church was no mean feat, even for a vicar who has been compared to Spiderman by his congregation... but it was all in a good cause.
WEATHER permitting, it had been suggested, Fr Gary Nicholson would have his picture taken on the church roof. Though the weather permits only pessimism, he goes up anyway, and wearing cassock, cape, cincture and skull cap.
A cincture is a sort of girdle. A skull cap should not be confused with a crash helmet, the latter rather more substantial and of greater use when falling off a ladder. In one hand he carries a medium-sized leek.
Half way up, the wind catches his skirts, reminiscent - though not very - of that famous picture of Marilyn Monroe.
Fr Gary, as he prefers to be known, is the Church of England priest of St James's church in Coundon, near Bishop Auckland. The column's photographer, ascending behind him, is distinctly left foot forward.
"You can let go of the ladder, then," says Fr Gary, brightly, to the churchwarden down below.
Among all that Sunday best, only the leek is unusual - sound symbolism not just of a church roof that religiously rains in but of other urgent needs, which include a toilet.
This, that and a few other things represent a target of £330,000, about half to be spent on the roof itself. Last Sunday marked the launch of a major appeal - raising the roof money, as it were.
"With a lot of help and a lot of hard work we can do it," Fr Gary tells his congregation.
St James's was consecrated in 1873, designed by an architect appropriately named Christian. Precious little intervenes between the church and the northern Pennines, nor protects it from the elements' worst excess.
At nine o'clock last Sunday morning it is barely possible to see across the graveyard, much less to the great grey yonder.
Inside is all warmth and light, however, not least from the 89 lighted candles scattered about the place which indicate that St James's is distinctly High church.
Services are usually Mass, high or low, often accompanied by incense and bells. Even the 100 Club, even the semi-circular apse at the east end, suggest a Catholic tradition.
Fr Gary was brought up near Crook, gained a degree in psychology, taught at Aycliffe School, became a priest at 33, also has charge of the neighbouring parish of St Mark's, Eldon, and rides a motor bike between the two of them.
Numbers are increasing, enthusiasm abounds. "We were very lucky to get him, a lot of parishes have to do without," says Denise Stewart, the deputy churchwarden.
It's the monthly family service, a dozen or so children divided into "Saints" and "Sinners" for "Fr Gary's £5 challenge", by now a popular feature of such occasions.
One group is asked what "A" gets in your pants - you know, ants - the other which "A" is being celebrated that day.
Since the Sinners are coming out on top, which would never do, Fr Gary - a sort of ecclesiastical Chris Tarrant - lobs up what he calls the killer question: name one word which rhymes with orange.
No one has ever found a word which rhymes with orange; no one has ever won Fr Gary's £5 challenge.
"I wouldn't care," says someone afterwards, "but he usually borrows the fiver from the churchwardens anyway."
The bairns love it, of course, and since it takes the place of a sermon, the adults may also be appreciative - though Fr Gary (it should swiftly be added) also offers a nice line in sermons, even when it's raining in on him.
High church trappings - smells, bells, abundant Alleluias - have been suspended for Advent, the more greatly to appreciate them at Christmas.
They used to do that at home; you couldn't even sing the last verse of O Come All Ye Faithful until after midnight on Christmas morning.
Maybe 70 are present, a feast for the 5,000 awaiting them at the back plus presents for Fr Gary, 40 yesterday. They include a Spiderman - "for going up on the roof."
The appeal also embraces social and disabled facilities, underlining that the church is there for everybody, and will involve the removal of some pews. "We'd love to have a full church every week, but we know it's not going to happen now," says Denise.
"As far as the building goes, the church needs bringing into the 21st century. The roof is desperately in need of replacement and we can patch it up no longer. When it rains heavily there are buckets all over the place."
Grants are expected to provide around £140,000, attempts to fund the rest begin immediately, a diamond wedding couple married at St James's have already sent £1 for every year of their marriage. Work is expected to begin in the Spring. "There's no way we're going to give up on St James's," says Ronnie Stewart, the churchwarden.
High church, high hopes.
* Principal Sunday service at St James's, Coundon, is at 9.15am. Fr Gary Nicholson (01388 603312) or any Church Council member would greatly welcome assistance of any kind.
Call for coffee and carols
The annual "Coffee and carols" service at Newbiggin Methodist Chapel - a couple of miles up the road from Middleton-in-Teesdale - takes place on Tuesday at 10.30am. The wonderful chapel is the oldest Methodist church in continuous use, the atmosphere is amazing and the mince pies abundant - the perfect way to start Christmas. All are very welcome.
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