NO wonder David Seaman - and his partner - were on the guest list of 26 (plus wives or girl friends) for the England squad's pampering at a ludicrously expensive Hertfordshire health farm this week.

By the obvious yardstick that one blunder is careless, but two in quick succession means your sell-by date has elapsed, Seaman should have been put out to grass.

But what are the Premiership clubs doing to groom his successor?

When Seaman was injured last Saturday, even his own club handed a debut to someone called Rami Shaaban, who sounds more like an al Qu'eda member than a candidate to keep goal for England.

Then there's the impressive list at Sunderland, where Thomas Sorensen and Thomas Myrhe are injured, so Jurgen Macho has had the chance to press his claims to play for Austria and Mart Poom, an Estonian, has been signed on loan.

What on earth would Jimmy Montgomery make of it?

Among the other names keeping goal in the Premiership last weekend were: Jaaskelainen, Vaesen, Van der Sar, Cudicini, Schwarzer, Dudek, Niemi, Friedel, Enckelman, Schmeichel, Kiely and Keller.

The back-up to Seaman in England's 26 for the visit to Champney's, Buckingham Palace and the San Lorenzo restaurant in London was provided by the eccentric David James and Paul Robinson, who is at least getting plenty of practice behind a lamentably leaky Leeds defence.

The FA are unlikely to have had any change out of £100,000 for the midweek jaunt, but Sven said: "If someone disagrees with the cost I really don't care because it is so good for team spirit."

A couple of nights camping out at Tow Law would provide just as much bonding, would save a fortune and might toughen up the mollycoddled under-achievers and remind them that they're nothing special. After all, barely any of them can kick with their left foot.

WHAT a sickener for James Simpson-Daniel that he should contract glandular fever just as his international rugby career was taking off so well.

The 20-year-old winger from Yarm had impressed so much with his running and handling skills in the wins against New Zealand and Australia that there was every chance he would have been switched inside for tomorrow's match against South Africa.

With Bath's Mike Tindall not quite up to the mark, outside centre is one position England need to strengthen before next year's World Cup and Simpson-Daniel could be the answer.

But if he has a serious case of glandular fever, which can be extremely debilitating, he could be struggling to be fit for the World Cup.

There will be much rejoicing when England complete their hat-trick of wins against the southern hemisphere giants tomorrow, but I hope there are again signs of room for improvement.

We are past masters at peaking a year too soon, whereas the Australians always get it spot on.

THANK goodness we beat the Aussies at something, because with cricket's World Cup only three months away, Steve Waugh's men don't need to worry about peaking.

They just keep taking the game forward and are so far ahead of the rest they will have no problems retaining their crown.

In their anxiety to see Ashes series become competitive again they allowed Rod Marsh to run our academy, but it's a pity their generosity didn't extend to providing good net pitches at Adelaide.

The green, watered surfaces allowed Stephen Harmison to make his mark on the tour by fracturing Ashley Giles' wrist, which meant England went into the match without five first-choice players.

In such circumstances you need someone special, which is what Michael Vaughan has become. He might just be the best England batsman of the last 30 years.

His first day knock set up the possibility of a competitive second Test, although much will have depended on Alec Stewart. By the time you read this we will know how he has followed up his first Test pair.

If it's another failure it won't be for lack of effort or resolve, but it could signal that, as with Seaman, it's time the gloves were off.

STILL, even if we lose the Ashes 5-0, the FA's £100,000 outlay this week will seem like money well spent when Seaman keeps a clean sheet in the pampered ones' next match.

The reason they needed their expensive get-together this week was to begin preparations for February's friendly visit of mighty Australia.

Published: 22/11/2002