Glad all over when Pollyanna bit the dust

Pollyanna (ITV1)

The Bill (ITV1)

There is never any doubt that Aunt Polly is a cold-hearted, sour and prickly woman who makes Scrooge look like Father Christmas.

Our first sighting of her is seeing her kill a fly. A defenceless fly in cold blood. "Murderer," you feel like shouting at her. Even worse, she doesn't go all maternal when orphaned niece Pollyanna comes to live with her. "What a ridiculous name," she tells the unbearably cheerful little girl.

Don't try getting round stern-faced Aunt Polly by giving her a big hug. She reacts as if she's been slapped round the face with a wet haddock. "I prefer physical signs of affection to be kept to a minimum," she informs the youngster.

Even sending her to the kitchen to eat bread and milk when she's late for dinner fails to dent the freckled juvenile's sunny disposition.

God, she's so unbearably nice and cheerful, you want to strangle her. I was firmly on Aunt Polly's side. As she was played by Amanda Burton, who perfected her icy stare as the pathologist in Silent Witness, I rather hoped she might put Pollyanna under the knife. But I knew, of course, that her frosty persona would eventually melt under the non-stop barrage of niceness and the glad game.

Pollyanna was glad all over. Her glad game involved finding a silver lining even in the darkest cloud. If you received a pair of crutches instead of a nice present, you should be glad you don't need to use them.

"What makes you glad, Aunt Polly?," asked Pollyanna.

"I don't consider it important to be glad," replied her guardian.

Bright-as-a-button Pollyanna had an answer for everything. Presented with a packed daily schedule of lessons, lessons and more lessons, she said to her aunt: "When can I just live?".

She managed to find time to talk to an old man in the woods, cheer up Pam Ferris's bed-ridden invalid, and do a spot of matchmaking between her aunt and the doctor.

It took a car accident to silence Pollyanna. "She can't find anything to be glad about again," was the diagnosis as she lay silently (hooray!) in bed. When the doctor suggested subjecting her to a new treatment, one carrying "risk of some considerable pain", I for one was shouting out: "Make her suffer, make her suffer".

How nice to return to the real world of The Bill, where everyone is beastly to one another. Sergeant Craig Gilmore would like to be nice to young PC Luke Ashton, having lusted after him since glimpsing him naked in the changing room. Taking advantage on Luke's stag night seemed a little remiss. Even worse, they were found in bed together the next morning - the day of Luke's wedding - by Inspector Gina Gold.

Meanwhile Acting DI Sam Nixon was Acting Silly DI Sam Nixon by going off on her own in pursuit of Sun Hill's serial killer and not bothering to tell anyone what she was doing.

And DS Phil Hunter discovered that local villain Ron Gregory was demanding the chance to sleep with his wife or Hunter would face the consequences. If Hunter was playing the glad game, I suppose he would have been glad that Gregory didn't want to sleep with him