Bad news for our old friend Eric Gates - he's been jointly named as Carlisle United's worst ever player in an Internet fanzine poll.

Sharing the dubious distinction are Ricardo Gabbiadini, fleetingly at Sunderland, and John Holliday - "curly hair, crap" - from West Cumbria. Though nominated, Billingham lad Kenny Lowe didn't receive a vote.

Eric joined Carlisle after five generally successful years at Sunderland from 1985-90, but made little impression.

In the Carlisle poll he was trailing until the final day. "Then he did something we'd never seen before," says the website. "He attacked."

The Sunderland fanzine Sex and Chocolate, meanwhile, has attempted a slightly more scientific survey of the club's worst post-war managers - and concluded, like Len Shackleton before them, that it's the directors who know nothing.

Based on a win and loss percentage, Terry Butcher is second worst (26.3 per cent wins, 55.3 per cent defeats), followed by Len Ashurst and - a disappointing fourth bottom - Lawrie McMenemy with a 29.9 per cent success rate.

In undisputed worst place, however, is the board which after Allan Brown's departure in 1964 decided they could do just as well themselves.

Back in the top flight for the first time in six years, Sunderland won just one of 15 games - "an utter disgrace" says Sex and Chocolate - before the directors reconvened and brought in George Hardwick instead.

The wholly admirable Terry Farley, Elderly Secretary of the Bishop Auckland Referees Society, is in Bishop General after a heart attack on Wednesday. "He only went to the doctor because he thought it was indigestion," says his wife, Marina.

The former Football League referee, from Newton Aycliffe, received a fistful of awards in October for 50 years service to refereeing, and continues in all sorts of ways still to serve it.

The signs are good. "He's his usual self, he's going to be fine," says Marina. We cordially wish him a speedy recovery.

Garry Gibson, now in Scotland but still much remembered for his never-dull chairmanship of Hartlepool United, collects his Stirling University masters degree - in entrepreneurial skills - from University chancellor Diana Rigg on March 28. The academically honed skills may be proving useful - "things are definitely looking up," he says.

Jurgen Klinsmann, the biography (Chapter 47). After stumbling across vast quantities of Herr Klinsmann's life story at West Auckland FC and in the dentist's waiting room, we now discover a stash at Feethams.

Luke Raine, Darlington's public relations director, blames former club skipper Kevan Smith. "He brought loads in when he was involved in football in the community, I think he thought he was doing us a good turn," says Luke.

"I still have a box full and I can't give them away. Unless you're German, there's a limit to how interested you are in Jurgen Klinsmann."

the team whom Oxford United replaced in the fourth division (Backtrack, Tuesday) was Accrington Stanley and the next team elected was Cambridge United, in 1970.

Since we've been talking of Eric Gates, readers may today like to identify the club of which he was assistant manager after leaving Carlisle.

Gates open again on Tuesday.