I'm a TV writer - get me out of here!

The invitation to the launch of the new series of Ant And Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway said to meet at the pub. Little did I know that the cheeky Geordie chappies had a surprise in store - and not just the blizzard blowing as I arrived at the hostelry that cannot be identified for reasons that will become clear later.

The pub doors were locked. As the falling flakes turned me into a snowman, Granada TV Press officer Debbie materialised to reveal with grim reaper determination: "This is not the final destination".

I was bundled into a car, transported round the corner and told to enter a terraced house outside which we had stopped. I was ushered into the kitchen and told to wait. There was washing up in the sink and the dog bowl on the floor was full of food. But there was no sign of the occupants. They'd been replaced by a TV crew with cameras.

By now, I was deeply suspicious. Pranks and japes involving the public are part and parcel of Ant and Dec's show. I began to think that I'd been set up. In the previous series, the pair had incarcerated Jeremy Beadle in a fort in the middle of the Solent for six weeks. Perhaps, a press pack of TV writers was going to be locked up in this house to be humiliated and made to carry out tasks to earn food.

Had Ant and Dec been reading their reviews and wanted revenge on the critics. I could see the title of the show, I'm A TV Writer - Get Me Out Of Here.

Suspicions were not allayed when Debbie appeared to ask: "Do you have any objection to appearing on television?" and passing round consent forms to be signed. Of course, I put my signature to the document without demanding details. Journalists are just as drawn to the idea of 15 minutes of fame as everyone else.

By now a dozen scribes were huddled in the kitchen, drinking tea and pondering our fate. Would it be worst than taking a shower of maggots or being forced to sing in front of Simon Cowell as people have on previous shows hosted by the pair.

Eventually, we were marched into the front room, where extra chairs had been put out next to the sofas and facing a huge TV set. Then came the moment of truth as Ant and Dec appeared in person to reveal that, far from doing anything nasty to us, they actually wanted our help. We were to aid and abet them in a spot of housebreaking for You Were Out, the Saturday Night Takeaway item in which they go round someone's house while they're out and borrow something.

In a few weeks time a woman, who must remain anonymous for fear of giving the game away, in the audience at the live show will watch a the video tape on the screen in the studio. Slowly, it will dawn that this is her front room, that people she doesn't know are sitting on her sofas, and that Ant and Dec are holding a press launch.

The same woman will also discover that one of her antique chairs has been taken and been sold at auction by Bargain Hunt's David Dickinson (don't worry, she'll get it back).

You Were Out is one of the regular line-up of spoofs, stunts and studio games in the second series of a show that Ant and Dec might have been born to present. Among other things, they'll be disguising themselves to fool the public and celebrities, fixing it for people that Jim didn't, and giving one person the chance to win the goods featured in the ads during the commercial breaks.

The show returns after Ant and Dec's success presenting two of TV's top reality shows, Pop Idol and I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here, and winning a Special Recognition Award at the National TV Awards last October. At 27, they might be considered a bit young for such an honour. That did cross their minds. "We still feel undeserved of it. We almost felt like saying, 'can we have it in a few years?'," says Ant.

"But I went back to Newcastle the following weekend and went down the pub, where the response was 'well done, I don't think anyone deserved it more'. I was really pleased."

Many have tried and failed to analyse their success, to find a chink in their friendship. What's obvious is that they enjoy and take an interest in what they're doing. They're having fun, a feeling that rubs off on viewers.

The pair are willing to acknowledge when things don't work. "Not everything we've done has been good. We've presented stuff we're not proud of. That will happen if you're not dedicated and your level of quality control slips," says Ant. "But we do everything with the same passion as we did in the first series of SM:TV."

Dec adds: "You have to take criticism on board. It just so happens that if you do it on TV, it's in front of six or seven million viewers."

The less-than-enthusiastic response to their ITV remake of a Likely Lads episode hasn't deterred them from wanting to do more acting as opposed to presenting.

"There are things we're developing," says Ant. "We'd like to do a sitcom but they're hard to get right. You have to take your time to get the right characters and storyline. We would never rush into anything like that."

Equal care is being taken with the movie script being written for them. All they'll say is it's about two Geordies who are - or rather, were - best friends.

Saturday Night Takeaway is their main concern at the moment. "The reason we love Takeaway is it's like shows we used to watch when we were growing up, like Noel's House Party. It's family audience viewing. We're trying to get some of that feelgood factor back on Saturday night," he says.

Then it's back to Dec - they seem to know instinctively how to dovetail their sentences - who says Takeaway is the kind of programme they signed to ITV to do.

"It's the show we have wanted to do for ten years, since we started working in television," he adds. "Out of all the shows we do, all the big hits, this is the one we enjoy the most because it's most fun and it's live."

* Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway: tonight, ITV1, 7pm.

Published: 11/01/2003