They didn't die laughing.
KEN Stott smiling on screen is as likely as Walford's Slater sisters talking quietly. Gloom and doom seem to follow this superb actor around.
How we loved to see him suffer as a tormented detective in The Vice, and now again as another worried policeman in the sequel to the incredibly gruesome thriller Messiah.
Admittedly, Detective Chief Inspector Red Metcalfe had little to smile about. His brother Eric was bloodily murdered after the opening credits and, before you had time to draw breath, another man had been buried alive.
That was just for starters. People continued to be slaughtered in a variety of ingenious ways every ten minutes. Tell-tale clues were left to torment investigators. "The killer is meticulous. Everything has a purpose," said Red.
The purpose remained a mystery until Red twigged that this vigilante was not only punishing people who'd got away with murder, but also taking revenge on policemen responsible for wrongful convictions. "For every guilty policeman, an innocent person will die," explained Red.
Inevitably, the sequel seemed more formulaic than the original, itself a successful attempt at a British version of grisly Hollywod thriller Seven. But, given the top notch cast and intriguing mystery, this sequel could hardly fail. I wouldn't mind betting BBC1 controller Lorraine Heggessey is on the phone commissioning Messiah 3 as you read this.
If Stott had little reason to be happy, several people from the North-East did after collaring prizes in game shows. A Newcastle family won a luxury apartment abroad in Here Comes The Sun. As the highlight was a game in which competitors had to balance on a raft in a swimming pool, I suspect this will join the pile of programmes labelled flop before too long.
Far more entertaining was Ant And Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway, or Ant and Dec's House Party by any other name. The problem was not a lack of ideas, but too many for an hour-long show.
A surprise visit to a Gateshead bingo hall was fun, not least because Ant's sister Sarah was there rather than in front of the telly watching her famous brother. Bingo players were given the chance to dash home to see if £3,000 cash was waiting for them. Margi did a runner and was duly rewarded.
Barmaid, bouncer and mother Allison, from Durham, took home a bigger cheque - for £50,000 - in Without Prejudice? for, as host Liza Tarbuck put it, just being herself.
Five members of the public "play god" (Liza's words again) and can decide to award the cash based on any criteria they wish. They're given certain information about contestants, and their discussions are horribly revealing of people's prejudices.
The first person is eliminated after just a 15-second introduction. The multi-pierced Paul survived, although subjected to much abuse later. Comments such as "Paul, a face I could never get tired of slapping" and "he's the no-hoper he looks". On learning his girlfriend worked in animal care, one queried: "Is that looking after him?"
My inclination was to get rid of the panel, notably objectionable accountant Laura and retired model CJ.
In their favour, the winner they picked seemed a suitable one. The way Allison burst into tears and hugged Liza indicated that, perhaps, they'd made a good choice. "You have made a dream come true," she sobbed.
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