Holby City (BBC1): IF you're a doctor, at least you know what you might catch when you chat up a girl in a bar. "This one is all over me like a rash," boasted one medic.
"She might give you a rash," warned his friend in a nudge, nudge, wink, wink way.
There's never a dull moment at Holby what with hernias, heart problems, difficult births, Turner's Syndrome (the patients) as well as pregnancy and mercy killing (the staff) as Owen and Chrissie's stag and hen nights kicked off.
Nurse Chrissie (Tina Hobley) is expecting a baby, but unsure whether bridegroom Owen or best man Ed is the father. Clearly, the marriage ceremony isn't going to be the happiest day of her life. "This baby might be yours, and I have to sit there and look at you on my wedding day," she told Ed.
Even her hen night held little interest - "just what you fancy after a nine-hour shift", she scowled.
Told that her life will change after she's wed, Chrissie retorted: "I will still do what I want, married or not".
She's not a nice woman, that Chrissie. At least Kath (Jan Pearson) had her dying husband's best interests at heart when she administered a fatal drug dose to kill him. Now his daughter Lisa, who also works at Holby, is getting suspicious and going around making nasty comments about her stepmum's motives.
Another nurse discovered that she'd been set up by her boyfriend to sleep with his friend to settle a debt.
The staff's personal problems were reflected in the dilemmas on this week's patient list - the man with a hereditary heart condition whose father doesn't know he's not his real father, and the pregnant wife afraid to tell her husband their unborn baby has a potentially life-threatening condition. To tell or not to tell, that is the question.
The doctors and nurses found a window in their busy schedule of bonking and mercy killing to rummage around in someone's stomach in the operating theatre, but you could tell their thoughts were elsewhere.
Mubbs, for instance, asked "Where would she be in your Holby top three?," as he and Owen debated the merits of the female nursing staff. And they weren't discussing their ability to empty a bedpan.
When Ed confessed to getting someone pregnant, Mubbs was ready yet again with words of wisdom. "You don't want to get tied down by some slapper at this time in your life," he told him.
As Owen had to be prised away from a woman who wanted to take him home at the end of the night, he seemed willing to follow that advice and play the field.
We left Owen and Chrissie cuddling in the front room with Ed, who was staying the night at their place, kipping on the sofa. The wedding, if it ever happens, should be a riot.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article