Felicitations firstly to the splendid Norman and Mavis Pearson, whose golden wedding celebrations last Friday were marred by an unfortunate accident on darts night and whose anniversary holiday has had to be postponed because of the dominoes.

"I made a stupid mistake 50 years ago," says Mavis, 71. "I said that I always believed in a man enjoying his sport, and by God he's kept me to it."

The night before the big day, 73-year-old Norman fell headlong over the oche at the Grey Hose on Bank Top, Darlington, and was rushed to hospital.

"I had my hair in curlers, getting everything ready, when they phoned to say they'd sent for an ambulance and were coming for me. He was bleeding like a stuck pig," says Mavis

Two black eyes and umpteen stitches, Norman was allowed home in the early hours of his golden wedding day - "the hospital was wonderful," says Mavis - and has been telling everyone that she beat him up.

He'll be fit, however, for next week's quarter-finals of the Darlington pairs knock-out 5s and 3s competition - representing the Grey Horse, Britain's top dominoes pub - which is when they'd planned to spend an anniversary holiday in Derbyshire.

A man accustomed to tricky manoeuvres, Norman is a former chairman of the Darlington branch of the Institute of Advanced Motorists. "She understands," says the golden oldie. "After 50 years, I hope so, anyway."

John Dawson, another man who enjoys his sport, spent Saturday afternoon at Ripley, Central Midlands League, the ground in the middle of a brickworks. (The column went to Tow Law; it was glorious.)

Since several other ground hoppers had made the Ripley trip, a chap went round collecting their names. At ten to three, the public address stirred into life.

"Welcome to Ripley, and a particular welcome to John Dawson from Hartlepool, Graham Clark from Redcar...." So it went on.

Having named the crowd, the PA man paused. "We'll announce the teams later," he added.

Another day in the sun, Hartlepool Lion Hillcarter played their FA Sunday Cup semi-final against Allerton, from Liverpool, on Sunday. Corporately and comfortably sustained, we watched from the Hartlepool United directors' box.

"I can't believe this is the same town. The change in Hartlepool has been incredible," said an FA man on his first visit in years.

National winners two years ago, the team began as the Lion, much loved by newspaper sub-editors for whom roars, purrs and mane men could effortlessly be inserted.

Then they won sponsorship from the Hillcarter Hotel. Though the Lion has been demolished, the proud name remains.

The cup's in its 39th year, contested this season by just four North-East teams and by others like Nicosia, Celtic - the Celtic from Luton, apparently - Gossoms End, Dickie Lewis and Smith and Nephew, the well-known family firm.

Almost all Hartlepool's side were Albany Northern League men, eight of the squad - including heavyweight goalkeeper Steve Tierney - from Horden. Steve's 17 stone, or clem as they say in those parts. "I like me food," he explained.

Though the Allerton fans were vociferous, no-one sang "who ate all the pies?" The truth was probably self-evident.

Lion also included Paul "Yakka" Pitman, a hero when Whitby Town won the 1997 Carlsberg FA Vase and scorer of both goals in the quarter-final.

It may not, in truth, have been the best game at Victoria Park this season nor even the best last weekend. "It keeps me out of the greenhouse," said Hartlepool United chief scout Tommy Miller, winter coat pulled parky round his personals.

The word scumfished came to mind, and swam mischievously away.

Though Lion managed a late consolation, Allerton won easily, 3-1. At White Hart Lane, Liverpool were making it a Merseyside double; at Hartlepool, the Lion's tale was tweaked.

Among others in the posh end was luxuriantly moustached Durham FA secretary John Topping, who has resumed his playing career - between the sticks for the Barnes Hotel, Sunderland, in the Over 40s League. Visions of his being sent off and having to appear before his own disciplinary committee are unlikely to materialise, however. "In all my life," says John, "I've never been so much as cautioned."

Sex and Chocolate, the Sunderland fanzine, held the front page and just about every other so that a tearless farewell to Howard Wilkinson might hit the streets on Friday.

Amid the turmoil, they have also ascertained that Sunderland are close to several Premier League records.

Unless they scrape six more points they will fail to beat Watford's miserable 24 in 1999-2000, they need more than a goal a game to equal Leeds United's paltry 28 and must somehow win three games at the Stadium of Light to beat Leicester's feeble five home wins last season. One point from the last 11 games may be something of a record, an' all.

Put in on a sticky wicket by last Tuesday's column, Ron Hails and Co - the company he keeps is Uncle Albert Kelleher - tried herocially to identify eight English Test cricketers born between Tyne and Tees.

Finally they did it, even adding the name of Walter Lees - 26 wickets in five early 20th century Tests - who was born in Yorkshire but died, from double pneumonia, in West Hartlepool.

Their eight wasn't the same as our eight, however. Hails of Hartlepool forgot about Simon Brown, by far the most recent Durham lad to fly England's flag; we omitted Cecil Parkin.

"I wouldn't care, I've a copy of his birth certificate," sighs the Bearded Wonder, the consultant on such occasions.

Cecil Harry Parkin was born in Egglescliffe, about 50 yards on the north bank of the Tees, on February 18, 1886. Bill Frindall describes him as one of cricket's great eccentrics - "conjurer, juggler and comedian."

"Ciss" played local cricket on Teesside, became a professional for Ossett but had played just one game for Yorkshire when the county discovered which side of the river he was from and cast him to the tide.

After playing with distinction for Durham, he joined Lancashire in 1914 and had played ten Test matches before criticising England captain Arthur Gilligan in a newspaper article and being effectively sacked.

It means, of course, that there've been nine Durham-born England Test cricketers, not eight..

In 1919, Parkin claimed 14-123 in a Roses match against Yorkshire, the club which threw him out. Five years later he bagged 8-59 in the same fixture. The comedian had had the last laugh.

Three of the best football referees the North-East has produced - George Courtney, George Tyson and Ken Redfern - will be back in action together in May.

Over 40s League secretary Kip Watson has persuaded all three, total age around 180, to officiate at the League Cup final. "We're trying to work out how to give them a third of the game each," says Kip.

Fees are not thought to be a problem, though George Courtney was once paid in second hand golf balls for controlling an Over 40s League match at Middlestone Moor.

"He says the same will do this time," says Kip. "We just haven't agreed how many."

And finally...

The connection between those lists of Scottish and Irish football clubs in Friday's column was that they all played in the early days of the English FA Cup.

Readers may today care to name the world snooker champion in 1972 and 1982, who today marks his 54th birthday.

Published: 18/03/2003