John North: The hard shell

FORMER ICI executive Roy Simpson, out to convince the world that egg jarping is everything it's cracked up to be, has been doing the hard shell on national television.

Roy appeared on the Richard and Judy Show last Thursday evening - "they'd read about it in your column," he says - four days before the annual end to end contest at Peterlee Cricket Club.

Fellow guests included former Arsenal and England striker Ian Wright and singer and self-proclaimed Hartlepool United fan Meatloaf, pitched against the hosts with Roy acting as referee.

Meatloaf, however, was so greatly in danger of doing Roy's big end in that the big break didn't quite go according to plan.

"He was a pain in the backside and Ian Wright was a bit like that too. Trumpets and blowing come to mind," says Roy, former Peterlee wicket keeper and now chairman of the World Egg Jarping Association.

"Meatloaf only wanted to talk about himself and not listen to anyone else. He peed me off, to be honest. I tried to explain the rules and don't know how well I did because of him, but Richard and Judy were absolutely charming."

The programme also featured American children demonstrating the US craze for cup stacking - "absolutely barmy," says Roy, though in his emissarial role he was able to persuade their parents to take WEJA's rules back to Colorado. "They promised to give it a try on Easter Monday morning and to e-mail me with the results, but unfortunately I haven't yet heard."

The world championship, no holds barred - not many, anyway - attracted competitors from throughout Peterlee and as far away as Shotton Colliery. "We flew that one in from Shotton airfield," says Roy.

For the second time in three years the title was won by 20-year-old student Andrew Murray, proving a) that it's a game of skill and b) the benefits of a good education.

Cynthia Simpson, the chairman's wife, taught the champ in year seven. "Unfortunately I can't remember egg jarping being on the National Curriculum," she says.

Andrew has proved impossible to track down - perhaps, as a jarper might put it, he's on a long dunsh break - but Roy Simpson is full of admiration.

"They're all official eggs, boiled the night before and given out at the competition, so there's no chance of cheating. Andrew does well whether he holds or jarps but he's a quiet, unassuming lad and I just can't get the secret out of him."

Already preparations are under way for the next Easter offering. Today Peterlee, tomorrow the world.

ANOTHER world record - and more pi in the sky - for the extraordinary Creighton Carvello, the Middlesbrough memory man.

Creighton, who also takes wedding photographs and writes songs, has been named "World's most talented man" on a website called Record Holders Republic.

Modestly, he demurs. "Maybe the most versatile," he says.

For years he was in the Guinness Book for reciting pi to 20,013 decimal places. When the record was broken, he figured it was time to try something different.

Last week, before an audience of medics and mathematicians in London, he beat the previous best for reciting the pi matrix - more mind boggling altogether.

It's 10,500 pi places covering 210 lines, 50 digits to a line - and remembering their sequence is barely scratching the surface.

"You have to answer a 50 question test," says Creighton. "They might ask you to multiply the fourth digit by the twelfth digit on line 19, or to recite line 182 backwards.

"You don't just have to memorise the sequence, but the position of every digit. I even dream about them now, but I got every question right."

It's 25 years since his first world record, pi to 6,400 places. Other specialities include FA Cup final records in extraordinary detail and "instant" memory feats - 13 digits in a second, 18 in two seconds. "Among the things I'm trying to prove is that your memory can get better with age," he says.

So does the memory man ever forget? "I'd once done a show in a pub and left my coat behind," confesses Creighton.

"I didn't dare go back for it, it would have been too embarrassing. I sent a friend instead."

DAVID Burdon's evocative book of photographs of The Last Days of Steam Around Darlington is selling well - signing in Ottakar's on May 17. Since we also reported that on the day that Dave's wife Christine finished typing the text the computer blew up, we've received the first letter written on the new one. "Unfortunately," says Dave, "I haven't taught it to spell."

THE Gallowgate Hoppings, one of the region's best known paintings, will be unveiled tomorrow in its new location, the Ramside Hall Hotel near Durham.

Ramside are so pleased they've installed an 1860 marble fireplace to sit beneath it.

The painting, by Wilson Hepple, was previously in the Newcastle Breweries offices in Gallowgate. "We're privileged to have been offered this opportunity," says Ramside Estates director Robin Smith.

Equally privileged, the column has been invited to the lunch which follows. More of that next week.

...and finally, Durham Cathedral will overflow next Monday evening for the Rt Rev Michael Turnbull's farewell service as Bishop. Thereafter, we hear, a quick getaway is planned.

"If he stood at the door trying to say goodbye to everyone both he and most of the congregation would be there all night," says a diocesan spokesman.

Bishop Michael will instead go walkabout during the "Peace" - a mutual exchange of greetings half way through the service. Afterwards, like many other famous folk, he will disappear through a side door into the night. He officially retires two days later.