Albert Square is fast becoming the place to head as soon as you're released from jail.

No sooner has ex-con Dirty Den Junior arrived in EastEnders (BBC1) than Martin Fowler returns - fresh from incarceration at her majesty's pleasure on driving offences.

Let's hope the experience has done him some good rather than teach him some useful, if illegal, tricks.

His overbearing mother Pauline is pleased to see her little boy (despite the fact that he's the tallest man in Soapland) and gets him a special 18th birthday present - Mark's old market stall. Is a life selling fruit and veg what he really wants after seeing life inside outside Walford?

Another familiar face turns up in the Square. Here's a clue: she has immaculately buffed and polished nails. Yes, that's right, Kate the undercover manicurist is back to entrap Phil Mitchell with the heady aroma of nail varnish remover. Having mucked up her police career, she's probably after a job behind the bar at the Queen Vic.

Silly Spencer Moon's latest money-making scheme backfires. Passing fake banknotes in a club isn't a good move and those who are out of pocket turn up at the Vic for revenge. Alfie shows his brotherly love by taking the beating instead.

The benefit is that barmaid Kat, the love of his life, is on hand to tend his wounds. She's been stood up by fickle Dirty Den Junior, who's set his sights on someone else.

In Coronation Street (ITV1), Gail the hamster continues to suffer like a homesick celebrity in the jungle. Schoolgirl daughter Sarah threatens to leave home if her mother tries to split up her and boyfriend Todd. Don't worry Gail, Todd is soon to question his sexuality and may lose his interst in Sarah.

We always knew Joe Carter was shady. That stubbly look was a dead giveaway. It appears he's been swindling Mike Baldwin and his Underworld knicker empire.

Now, having enticed Karen McDonald out of husband Steve's bed and into his own, Joe needs to buy her silence after she uncovers his fraud. Keeping loud-mouthed Karen silent is going to take all his ingenuity, or at the very least a big gag.

Les Battersby is psyching himself up for prison, after being framed by his nearly ex-wife's policeman boyfriend. Only Kirk's poster campaign to prove his innocence offers a glimmer of hope.

Over in Emmerdale (ITV1), barmaid Louise is still enjoying rumpy-pumpy with married newcomer Ray - until his wife Frances has a word with her. I can imagine what the word is, and it's certainly one that can't be repeated in either a family newspaper or before the nine o'clock watershed. The result leaves Ray having to choose between two women, although if he takes my advice he'd have a quieter life with Betty.

Taking in her long-lost daughter Debbie is still causing Charity-begins-at-home problems with husband Chris. He doesn't like having Charity's offspring around the place, but then he doesn't seem to like much at all these days.