Just when it seemed that Vince Kirkup wouldn't leave the Little House on the Prairie for anything on earth, North-East football's longest-serving manager has resigned.
"It's just become too much," he says.
"It was a hell of a hard decision, but if I hadn't gone now I'd probably never have done.
"Every night of the week I either seem to be out with football or on the phone trying to raise a team."
Vince, 52, has been Stanley United's manager - and much else - for 26 years. For 15 years he was also secretary.
The ground is among Britain's most palatably perishing; the Little House on the Prairie is the club's headquarters - coal-fired, warm-hearted - on the windy ridge above Crook.
With Vince's departure, however, one of the country's oldest football clubs may have kicked its last ball. The groundsman, treasurer and kit washer have also resigned.
"I won't give up without a fight but to be realistic, I don't think we're going to make the Wearside League next season," says tea lady Beverly Heslop, a Stanley supporter since being taken in her pram to watch her dad play.
She still hopes to find a new manager, however - and more helpers, too.
Formed in 1890 after the amalgamation of Stanley Nops and Stanley Albion, the three times champions left the Northern League in 1974 and was also close to extinction three years later when Les Westgarth, the then chairman, came knocking on Vince's door.
"He said he was on his way to Durham FA to resign the club's membership," Vince recalls. "He knew I couldn't let him do that."
He also became kit man, first aid man - "Stanley United ran from the boot of my car" - principal fund raiser and occasional player, as at Stokesley a month ago.
"I've just got the scabs off me knees," he says.
When working for British Coal, he also masterminded the deal which saw the famous old ground sold to the club for £1, the fee ceremonially handed over. He wants to stay in football, preferably in the Northern League.
"I know people will say this and that but after 26 unpaid years I don't feel I have to answer to anyone," he says.
"The driving force was to get back into the Northern League, but I don't think it was ever going to happen with our ground and our resources.
"I admit that it was a bit like a cocoon, so long as I was doing my best they weren't going to tell me to get on my bike, but if it hadn't been for me they'd probably have folded anyway.
"I like to think I've got them a 26-year extension.
"My fervent wish is that Stanley United don't fold, but I think I've given them a fair crack."
Bev Heslop confesses herself "gutted" at the news. "Vince has been absolutely fantastic but that just makes him harder to replace.
"We need a manager with a bit of experience who can pull players in. Someone who can wash the strips would be useful, too."
Bev's on 07971 485525. There'd be a terrific Little House party if anyone can help.
Published: 09/05/2003
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