For someone to whom a cricket ball was probably a dance for orthopterous insects, Anna Ridley's honeymoon plans may have seemed rather less than romantic.

She and husband Mike, captain of Sedgefield's first team in the Durham County League, spent a fortnight in Australia with the ebullient Barmy Army - and with a flag identifying them as the Sedgefield Booze Boys.

It proved so successful, however, that the folk they met Down Under will be in Sedgefield on June 4 for another match made in heaven.

It's the night before the first ever Test match at Chester-le-Street: the Barmy Army, drilled to imperfection, plays a Sedgefield select to raise funds for leukaemia research.

Stark raving bonkers? "They're lovely people," insists Anna, Cockfield lass originally. "I might have had a few initial misgivings, but I'm really looking forward to seeing them again."

Mike and Anna, now in Chilton, spent two weeks in Thailand before flying into Australia on Christmas Eve for the Sydney and Melbourne tests.

"Like most good plans it was hatched in drink, but it really worked," admits Mike.

"You could call it a master stroke or a bit insensitive, whichever way you want to look at it.

"Anna didn't know what she was letting herself in for, or know much about cricket, but she really enjoyed it in the end."

With friends from Sedgefield, and with the ubiquitous flag, he'd already been on two Barmy Army tours.

"We'd talked about a game in Sedgefield before, but developed the idea on honeymoon because they were coming up for the Test anyway.

"They're really great people, not the least threat of violence, just normal good humoured fans who enjoy a drink. It reminds me of the Scottish football fans abroad."

Anna agrees. "I can still take or leave cricket but it was what a honeymoon should be - singing, drinking and having a good time. It'll be lovely to see some of them again."

The match at Sedgefield, starting at 6pm, will also feature a barbecue, karaoke and disco in aid of the Barmy Army's chosen charities.

"I expect it'll be quite a barmy night as well, but there's still quite a serious purpose to it," says co-organiser Malcolm Dickenson.

Now that the honeymoon period's over, Anna Ridley will discover another woman's place at the cricket. She's on duty making the teas.

For one of England's most fervent football followers, however, things at the moment seem just plain barmy.

Tony Duffy - secretary of Bishop Auckland FC and world's number one Prisoner Cell Block H fanatic - hasn't missed an international, home or away, for seven years.

He's also a member of England Fans, the FA's official supporters organisation, and belonged to the Members Club before that.

Yet when the ticket "hotline" opened last Thursday for next month's Euro 2004 qualifier against Slovakia at Middlesbrough's Stadium of Light, it took him three hours to get through - only to discover that all 24,000 available tickets had gone in 53 minutes.

"Official" supporters had been given no priority, simply repeatedly advised - like most others - that the lines were busy and to please try again later.

"We have to have identity cards, photographs are subject to security checks and generally herded around like cattle and then they leave the lines open to a free for all," says Tony.

"We very much hope there won't be trouble, but if there is, the FA only have themselves to blame. How do they know who are trouble makers?

"I can't believe the way we've been treated; UEFA would be appalled if they knew how the phone lines had been run. I'm fearful we will be kicked out of the championships if something goes wrong."

Tony, among just 900 fans who travelled to the qualifier in Liechtenstein and one of the 10,000 who went to Slovakia, will probably be able to get tickets through his links with the Bishops. He fears, however, that many other true fans will be disappointed.

"We are genuine supporters, home and away, but we have been treated terribly. Most of the people who went to the away games won't get a ticket for Middlesbrough. It's quite criminal."

FA spokesman Adrian Bevington, a former Middlesbrough press officer, said: "We're sure those fortunate enough to have got a ticket will have a wonderful evening."

Tuesday's note on Philadelphia Cricket Club's elderly third team - just one under 40, known thereabouts as The Bairn - prompts an e-mail from John Armstrong, one of two grandfathers in the Witton-le-Wear side going well this season in the Darlington and District League first division. John admits to being "nearly 60" - but is 70-year-old Keith Hopper of Bishop Auckland the oldest regular in North-East cricket?

Then there's our old friend Stan Wilson, umpiring at 71 but by no means the oldest still standing. He is anxious, in any case, to recall wicketkeeping duty ten years ago.

Stan was travelling umpire with the Teesside based Doghouse Cricket Club on a tour of the north-west and had already been awarded a white stick in recognition of perceived myopia.

When regular wicketkeeper Tom Stafford (Arsenal and Yarm) was unavailable for a match in Blackpool, however, Stan took the gloves and skipper Dave Lewis took £1 bets from his team mates on the number of byes to follow.

The lowest nomination was 12. Stan, by the bye, could keep the tenner if he conceded fewer. "Peter Shenton was deliberately bowling off breaks down the leg side but I could read his mind. I wasn't a politician for nothing," says Stan, a former LibDem parliamentary windmill tilter now in Sowerby, near Thirsk.

There were just five byes. "I was determined to pay them back for that white stick," he says.

"It paid for a night on the town."

For the late Peter Shenton, Redcar lad, losing a quid to Wilson of the White Stick may have been only the second most memorable match of his cricket career.

The events of June 15 1960 were yet more indelibly engraved.

Kent played Worcestershire at Tunbridge Wells, batted first and totalled 187 in three and a half hours. Worcestershire, marooned on a drying wicket, went for 25 in 75 minutes and, following on, were all out for 85.

Alan Brown and Dave Halfyard, later Marske's first professional, took nine wickets each. Peter Shenton, on that occasion putting the ball where it was meant to be, claimed 2-12 in 4.5 overs but after a spell with Northamptonshire played just twice for Kent.

Colin Cowdrey, the home skipper, called the wicket "disgraceful" - the last time in England that a first class match has finished in a day.

June 15 1960? It was the day that the fondly remembered Arthur Stephenson trained his first winner on the flat, the day of Bishop Auckland FC's annual meeting - lost £940, nothing to do with paying the players -

and of market gardener Edmund Steele's £21,212 18s win on the Australian pools.

Mr Steele and his family were paying HP on a caravan at Aiskew, near Bedale.

"I'm going to have a big bungalow built," he said.

As always, of course, there was proof that nothing is new under the sun. There was a public meeting amid concerns over Willington FC's future - how many of those over the years? - and the annual meeting of Sunderland FC heard of a £29,275 overdraft.

"The directors wish to assure all concerned," said 72-year-old chairman Stanley Ritson, "that they have always in mind the desirability of regaining first division status as early as possible."

It took them another four years.

A PS on last weekend's meanderings through Musselburgh where the links golf course is reckoned the world's oldest.

Its undoubted claim to golfing fame, however, is that the implement used to cut the holes at Musselbergh was four and a quarter inches wide - a diameter considered so made to measure that in 1893, the R&A decreed it the standard size throughout the world.

The future Durham cricketer who with David Gower buzzed the 1991 tour of Australia from a Tiger Moth (Backtrack, May 20) was John Morris.

Carefully phrased, a question today from Peter Robinson in Billingham: "He never took a wicket in his county cricket career but he managed a hat-trick for England. Who was he?"

Hats in the ring again on Tuesday.

The Richmond Mavericks - in Chambers Dictionary a maverick is "one who does not conform" - have been breaking the mould in North Yorkshire football.

The team has become the first in the long history of the Wensleydale League to win the championship - unbeaten all season - plus the League Cup, Dales Cup and Medals Shield.

They also reached the North Riding Saturday Challenge Cup final.

"I'm very proud of those lads," says team manager Bob Vincent, as well he might be.

We'd written of their formation a few years back, noted that Richmond School teachers Andy Mollitt and Jim Bretell had come up with the Latin motto "Non pedicare cupiunt" and a suitable logo for their T-shirts.

Borrowed from L/Cpl Jones, it means "They don't like it up 'em."

Others have now tasted cold steel.

Published: 23/05/2003