E-mail has revolutionised the way we communicate. Like the phone, fax, or text, it's instant. Equally, like the old fashioned letter, it can contain lots of information, directions, instructions, or requests -- and therein lies the difference: e-mail requires fore-thought.

Too often I hear friends and colleagues complaining about e-mails, or at least their contents. "I got this really abrupt email from my boss; he didn't begin with my name and never signs off. Would you write a letter like that?" asks one friend. Work friends complain about other colleagues' rudeness in emails. Some of us are tired of the jokes and cartoons which clutter our inboxes, or the irritatingly sentimental emails which promise "If you forward this, your wishes will be granted."

Email is also an all too convenient way to tick that next item off the to do list. Fire off an email and it's done. You don't have to worry about whether or not the recipient is actually there to receive it, what their thoughts are, if they agree, or can do. Through our use of email we seem to somehow have let go of the basic respect we should have for our colleagues and staff working for us. No longer do we ask: What do they think about the project? Are they busy? Do they have an extra project to work on? Can they actually do what we're demanding in the given frame of time?

So it seems that email is sometimes out of control. Many of us are guilty of not thinking at times before we fire off an email, and we've all felt as recipients that we can't control our inboxes (especially after a holiday) or our outboxes. We just don't seem to have enough time to think about what to do with the communication that's just arrived in our inbox, or to respond. E-mail is becoming the modern office worker's nightmare. The 1980s promised us shorter working hours and more efficient use of time thanks to computers. Instead, the opposite slowly seems to be coming true.

The frightening thing is that the frustration is actually being taken out in the very medium that is causing the problem. A recent survey carried out by Barclays, the UK's leading online bank, found that 61 per cent of over 15s suffer from e-rage. Granted, most of this e-rage takes place when people are surfing online, and not working in an office. But it's a disturbing trend nevertheless. The most common cause for a tantrum among angry adults was being timed out (29 per cent), followed by web pages not being available (22 per cent).

The research, commissioned for Barclays by NO Omnibus, found that Southerners are most likely to suffer from e-rage, 27 per cent, while 16 per cent of respondents in Scotland and the North hit their PC when experiencing e-rage.

Southerners also direct their anger by shouting at their partners, 11 per cent, when something goes wrong, compared to only one per cent of those in 'Middle Britain' who show their frustration by screaming (17 per cent). Meanwhile, people from Scotland, the North and 'Middle Britain' are most likely to swear at their PC (43 per cent) and 16 per cent of those surveyed from Scotland and the North said they throw a tantrum. However, for the UK as a whole, the most common response was to log off and have a cup of tea (75 per cent), followed by 41 per cent who used obscenities. Other responses include shouting at the cat, hitting the table, having a stiff drink or even putting a slice of toast with jam into the disc drive to teach the computer a lesson!

Generally, men experience marginally more e-rage than women with 62 per cent suffering compared to 59 per cent of women. 15 per cent of women throw a tantrum when the Internet does not work compared to 12 per cent of men.

People between 25-34 suffer the most from e-rage (66 per cent) with silver surfers a close second at 65 per cent.

So, what can we do to reverse this trend? Clearly, our expectations of others have changed with in this age of e-mail. Maybe we need to step back and take a look at those expectations. First of all, control your email. If you're away, use your out of office response option. Senders will know not to expect a reply. When you return from a break, don't feel pressure to deal with every single email. Try to prioritise. If something is urgent and you can't respond immediately, let the sender know.

As a sender, try to consider others. Simple courtesies still apply. Address someone by name and sign-off your e-mail, and don't forget to proofread what you've written. Don't make demands, but instead ask when something might be done, or when a meeting might take place. Keep in mind that most people have tens if not hundreds of e-mails to trawl through after a break -- so a day's wait is not unreasonable. Finally, don't use e-mail to express a view or say something you'd rather not say in person. That approach usually has poor consequences and rarely seems to move things forward.

Published: 30/05/2003