GARETH SOUTHGATE knows as much as anyone in the England team about the slings and arrows of outrageous footballing fortune.
He emerged from the ruins of his Euro 96 penalty miss a stronger player with a greater sense of perspective.
Southgate was deluged with thousands of messages of support after that fateful night against Germany, many from well-wishers with much more serious problems.
"Everything in the England bubble seems more important than anything in the world, but that's not the case," Southgate reflected yesterday.
"Euro 96 taught me how to deal with failure. I had letters from people who had lost relatives or had children with disabilities."
Southgate might have had to contend with the disappointment of missing out on the game's major honours or the experience of playing Champions League football.
But after almost a decade of sterling Premiership service, plus 54 England caps, the Middlesbrough defender is too shrewd to bemoan his lot.
He is to write a book with long-time friend Andy Woodman, a journeyman goalkeeper who began his career with Southgate at Crystal Palace in 1989.
Since then, Southgate's career has brought him untold riches; Woodman, on the other hand, has worked his way round the lower divisions.
Aston Villa paid Palace £2.5m for Southgate in 1995; he quit the Midlands for Middlesbrough for £6.5m two years ago.
Woodman has played for eight clubs and only once demanded a transfer fee: when he joined Brentford for a nominal amount in 1999.
Southgate could retire now on the wages he has earned; Woodman will be looking for a new job when he hangs up his boots and gloves.
The chance to record his experiences, and those of a mate who is a stranger to fame and fortune, in a book was too good for Southgate to miss.
He said: "I've been approached a lot of times to do a book and I wasn't overly keen on doing one.
"But we thought it would be interesting to see how two players who have been great friends for many years have gone down very different paths.
"The book gives him the chance to share what I've experienced and it gives people the truth of what professional football is all about.
"The reality is washing your kit and driving for four or five hours on the day of a game to get to the fixture. We're very privileged but the majority of professional footballers are not, and the book is about our friendship and the difference between our lives.
"I've worked hard to get into the position I'm now in. Everyone has breaks along the way, and it's a case of taking them.
"I feel fortunate. Many people wake up in the morning and have to do something they dislike doing because they need to earn an income.
"I don't think any player should ever lose sight of how fortunate we are to be doing what we're doing."
Southgate will be proud to play on his club ground against Slovakia tomorrow and he is confident that the match will pass off without any crowd trouble.
He said: "Passions will be a lot higher for this game than they were last week, but in my two years at Middlesbrough there's never been a problem with the fans.
"The England supporters know how important it is that they behave. I don't think any of us envisage there being a problem.
"It will be strange to play for England at Middlesbrough but we've travelled round the country a lot now.
"I still feel deep down that playing for England at Wembley was the greatest experience you can have.
"But in terms of Middlesbrough as a club and the area, it's a massive occasion for them.
"There's been a real buzz about the place since they were awarded the game and a real desire to see the game pass off as positively as possible.
"It will be a celebration because the people of Teesside might never see England at the Riverside again.
"The game could go into Middlesbrough folklore."
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