EVEN a comeback tour featuring Joe Dolce, Dollar and Milli Vanilli would not have been played out in front of so many empty seats.
As befits Sunderland's home ground, the Stadium of Light was a sea of red last night.
Unfortunately, the England Under-21's arrival on Wearside was greeted by the presence of unoccupied red seats that stretched as far as the eye could see.
If the headache-inducing sound of air horns being blown for 90 minutes rocks your boat, then the Stadium of Light was the place to be yesterday.
And if the prospect of being locked out of the "glamour" Under-21 fixture against Slovakia dissuaded you from turning up, you needn't have worried.
Coach David Platt claimed last week that a sell-out 24,000 crowd for the friendly with Serbia and Montenegro had vindicated his decision to stage the game at Hull's KC Stadium.
So, what does that make this pitiful attendance of 11,223 for a vital European Championship qualifier?
There were even six stewards stationed in the section of the ground where the away fans are usually housed.
Were they expecting the invisible man and his mates to invade the pitch?
The fans' enthusiasm could not be faulted. Unlike some of England's players, the supporters seemed genuinely pleased to be there.
Such was the mind-numbing drone produced by those interminable air horns, one could have mistakenly thought they had stumbled into the Quorn Hunt rather than a football stadium.
England won a throw-in, and people blew their horns.
A pass went astray in midfield, and still there was no abatement in the noise.
But at least they tried to get involved.
Which was all the more creditable, given that many of the England players would have been a complete mystery to the younger supporters.
Only the most devout Chelsea or Reading fans would recognise Rhys Evans or Steven Sidwell.
The atmosphere was less hostile than on the Three Lions' last visit, when Burberry and Aquascutum numbers beat England shirts in the popularity stakes.
The Slovakians' substitutions were greeted with a polite ripple of applause - oh, and those flaming air horns, of course.
What the Football Association would give for a repeat of this friendly rivalry shown towards the visitors at the Riverside Stadium tonight.
But at least Middlesbrough's ground will be full for that game.
There were so many spare tickets for last night's match, they could have filled the Riverside with the stayaways - and added a further 3,000 for good measure.
Perhaps the chance to see Dolce et al - minus the air horns - would have been more appealing.
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