Following Alan Milburn's resignation in order to spend more time with his children, Women's Editor Christen Pears considers the problems fathers face finding the right work - life balance.

BRINGING up a child is the most important task many of us will ever do but hundreds of parents find it virtually impossible to give their family the attention they want because they're too busy at work.

Yesterday, Alan Milburn quit his position as Health Secretary because he wanted to spend more time with his children and he isn't the only father to put his family first. At the end of last year, Welsh rugby international Scott Quinnell retired at the age of 30 in order to see more of his young family. Quinnell's own father, Derek, was an international rugby player and spent long periods away from home. He didn't want his children to go through the same thing.

"There is considerable dissatisfaction among men about how little time they get with their families. Scott Quinnell is just one of the growing number of dads who aren't willing to sacrifice their family life for the sake of their career," says Jack O'Sullivan, co-founder of Fathers Direct, a national charity which provides information and support for fathers.

Today's long hours culture deprives men, making it more difficult for them to form relationships.

"Working long hours means you are only with your child when you are tired and they are tired. That's not beneficial for either of you and you miss out on a lot.

"I think a lot of dads don't realise what they're missing until they have the kids for a day or two but they gradually reconcile themselves to it. They just stop worrying and protesting about it because they think they don't have any choice."

Many fathers feel a sense of guilt at not being able to participate fully in their child's development and others feel a sense of loss.

"You only get one chance to see your child grow up and men are worried about missing it," says Jack.

The benefits of a close relationship between child and father are well-documented. Research shows that where dads are involved, children have greater social skills when they start nursery, do better in examinations at 16, are less likely to have a criminal record at 21. As adults, daughters find it easier to develop life-long relationships with men.

James Walker, a teacher from Bowburn, near Durham, is concerned about how little time he has with his two sons, aged seven and four.

"My wife and I both work and it can be hard for us to just sit down with them and play a game or take them out," he says.

"She starts and finishes work before me so I take them to the childminder's in the morning and she picks them up. Depending on what extras I'm doing at school, it can be six o'clock by the time I get home and even then I've often got work I need to do for the next day.

"They don't understand that. They just want to see me and a lot of the time, I'm too tired to give them the attention they want. I always make sure I spend a couple of hours with them and I always read a bedtime story but it's not as much as I would like and I do worry."

The modern father is not content to see his children for just half an hour at the end of the working day. He wants to be more actively involved with them.

For decades, working women have been calling for employers to take into account their childcare responsibilities but men have been excluded from the process.

In November 2000, the first major piece of research into work-life balance in Britain was commissioned by the Department for Education and Employment. It revealed that 14 per cent of fathers were working more than 60 hours a week, but that men, as well a women, wanted more time to spend with their children

In January this year, research by the Equal Opportunities Commission showed that in families where both parents work, fathers are responsible for one third of parental childcare.

"That's a stunning social revolution," says Jack. "Fathers are looking after their children a great deal more than in the past and so work does need to make concessions to their fatherhood. Unfortunately, at the moment, fathers don't have many rights in the workplace with respect to their families.

In April, new legislation came into force, which encourages family-friendly flexible working hours and entitles parents to more time off. Employers have to listen to requests for flexible working arrangements. New fathers are entitled to two weeks paid leave following the birth of their baby and 13 weeks unpaid leave.

Jack says: "It is a start but we've still got a long way to go. Most employers still treat fathers differently. They assume there's a mother as child carer but most women are working as well and the children need someone to look after them. A lot of fathers want to be able to do that."