A barrister has drawn on her own divorce and her legal expertise to write a book to help others through the experience. She talks to Women's Editor Christen Pears.
WHEN Jody Beveridge went through her divorce, she was at bar school, finishing training to be a barrister. But even with her considerable legal knowledge, she found the whole process difficult to understand. Now a specialist in family law, based at chambers in Middlesbrough, she has written a guide for others going through the same experience.
Despite Britain's high divorce rate, most people only get divorced once, or perhaps twice. Consequently, very few of us have any idea what it involves. To make matters more complicated, divorce is stressful and traumatic. Most people feel confused and uncertain, as well as isolated.
Control Your Divorce, The Questions To Answer, was co-written by Jody and Middlesbrough-based solicitor Jan Bennett. It covers every aspect of divorce, from how to find a solicitor to money matters and domestic violence to children.
"I have been divorced myself and I found it a really difficult time. The more information I had, the easier I found it to cope with," Jody says.
"Now I practise in family law, I thought there was very little out there that was understandable. There are a few guides but they are really quite heavy. When people are getting divorced, they are not able to take on a lot of information. We wanted to write something simple that was easy to digest."
Although each relationship is different, Jody says there are common themes and questions running through the cases she handles on a daily basis.
"The idea is that people can read the book and relate the principles to their own situation and hopefully have a better idea of what's likely to happen with their own divorce."
As part of their research, the authors interviewed people about their experiences of divorce and asked what they would have liked to have known at the time.
"The main thing we found was how frightening divorce is for people. It's amazing how many know the relationship isn't going anywhere but wait months, or even years, before doing something about it because they're so frightened of the prospect of divorce.
"Also, people still think there is a huge stigma attached to it but we deal with it every day and whatever we hear, we will have heard before."
Jody says many clients are nervous about meeting solicitors and barristers for the first time, while their only knowledge of court comes from the television.
"They think it's all about wigs and gowns and witness boxes but it's much more informal than that in family proceedings. Hopefully, the book explains exactly what it's like."
Jody qualified as a barrister five years ago but she hadn't always intended to have a career in law. She left school after her A-Levels and worked as a DJ for seven years in locations as varied as Bermuda, Scandinavia and Cyprus. But at the age of 22, she decided she needed a career change.
"I knew that most female DJs ended up becoming club managers or music producers and I didn't really want that so I decided to do a degree."
She completed her A Levels at the British Consulate in Cyprus, where she was working at the time and then did a degree in Spanish and international relations at St Andrews.
It was during her time at university that she became interested in debating, going on to be European champion, but it was only when she bumped into a barrister on a train and started chatting that she realised how she could best use her skills.
"He worked in the North-East and suggested I come up here to do some work experience. I absolutely loved it and did another two years of study in London after St Andrews."
Although Jody's family is from Finland, she was born in London and moved to the North-East after completing her legal training. She now lives in Gainford, near Darlington, with her second husband Martin, whom she married in 2000, and four children.
As well as her career as a barrister, Jody runs a language school for children, so Martin's help at home is invaluable.
"Martin used to work in Halfords. I had a nanny when I met him and I was paying her more money than he was earning and it just didn't make sense. I was quite reluctant to ask him to give up work but he suggested it and has been a house husband since then. It works really well."
But Jody is the sort of person who has to keep busy, she's always looking for her next challenge. She's already working on a second legal book, with Stockton child psychologist Alan Bradley, about how to help children cope with divorce.
Meanwhile, she hopes Control Your Divorce will dispel some of the myths surrounding divorce and help readers understand the legal process.
"The book isn't encouraging people to divorce, far from it, but it is encouraging them to talk about it so they can at least know what their options are."
* Control Your Divorce by Jody Beveridge and Jan Bennett is published by Foulsham at £8.99.
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