APART from the fact that the dreadful Ken Bates has run the show for so long, among my reasons for disliking Chelsea FC is that they are supported by David Mellor and Tony Banks.

The buffoon Banks has aired his views twice this week, first to support a total ban on hunting then to question the cleanliness of the Russian money which is taking over his beloved football team.

After his initial observation I heard a hunt supporter on radio suggest that he had made himself look foolish, as though it were happening for the first time. I have always believed that whenever he opens his mouth some fool speaks.

Yet in the next breath the former Sports Minister suddenly confounds such notions by refusing to openly embrace the man Bates has climbed into bed with, the oil billionaire Roman Abramovich.

"We need to know rather more about him before saying this is a good deal," said Banks, clearly worried that the Blues could be seriously tainted not so much by a dirty red as a corrupt capitalist.

The question is not so much why Bates wants this deal - with £80m of debt Chelsea were in danger of bankruptcy - as why the Russian wants to buy an English football club.

He paid Kerry Packer £12m for a secluded seven-bedroom house set in 424 acres of West Sussex two years ago and is said to be paying £150m cash to pay off Chelsea's debts and buy 84.9 million shares from Bates.

The shares rose by 40 per cent before news of the deal was disclosed, which sounds like a further reason for Banks' scepticism.

Abramovich has been the subject of probes which have come to nothing, which probably means it is pointless Banks calling for further investigations. As governor of the Chukotka Arctic province, across the Bering Straits from Alaska, Chelsea's saviour is immune from criminal prosecution.

So there is probably nothing to stop him bankrolling "Chelski" in the Champions League and if the whole venture turns into a huge success we will doubtless have to suffer vomit-inducing triumphalism from Bates, Mellor and Banks.

AS WE endure the annual bout of Henmania it is gratifying to find that we are not alone in our obsessions, as shown by Real Madrid's extraordinary televising of the Beckham medical.

It was also encouraging that one of the world's biggest marketing tools has his own super-hero in basketball star Michael Jordan, who wore No 23. As 4,15 and 23 were the Real squad numbers up for grabs, the choice for Becks was easy.

He was handed the shirt by Alfredo di Stefano, a legend from the Real team which dominated the European Cup in the 1960s, once beating Eintracht 7-3 in the final.

It's a fair bet that di Stefano always wore No 9, kept the same hairstyle throughout his career, was happy to earn £20 a week and enjoy a modicum of fame without being idolised.

ONE sport in which the cult of the personality appears to be fading is golf. Tigermania has receded as Woods no longer holds any of the four majors and a series of unknowns keep winning European Tour events.

In March Ian Woosnam bemoaned the fact that modern equipment was enabling ordinary players to win, and Woods has now joined the outcry over "hot-faced" drivers.

There are questions over the legality of these weapons, further emphasising that it's time to clamp down on technological improvements.

Rival equipment manufacturers who argue the need to compete with each other should be reminded they need superstars for marketing purposes, not occasional winners like Philip Golding.

Conversely, it is no bad thing to have new names coming to the fore. Although he is not even famous in his own front room, the story of how Golding won for the first time at 41 after a record 16 visits to the tour qualifying school would be well worth copious column inches were it not for Henmania.

It is interesting that if Tiger Tim were to win Wimbledon he would be the third oldest first-time winner since the game went open after Stan Smith and Arthur Ashe. Yet golfers can break their ducks at 40-plus.

There have been 11 first-time winners in 23 European events this season, which reinforces Woosnam's point.

But there is sufficient interest in golf, unlike tennis, for it to merit year-round instead of two-week coverage, irrespective of who wins.

I WASN'T aware there was an England Schools polo team until the dear young prince fell off his nag while captaining them. It must be quite a task for the selectors trawling polo fields from East Durham to deepest Cornwall to find the best talent. Or could it be that they all come from Eton and Harrow?

Published: 05/07/2003