I had a most curious moment at a local hotel yesterday (stop it at the back) and I'd be grateful for your help with an explanation.

I was meeting a business colleague who was en route from the deep south to Scotland, so we agreed our venue as the Swallow Eden Arms at Rushyford, just off the A1 (M).

I arrived in good time for our one pm appointment and was surprised to see the car park festooned in signs advising that a pass must be obtained from reception for dashboard display, otherwise the car could well be clamped.

Despite some half-hearted enquiries on my part, I couldn't discover the reason for this rule which was new to me since my last (some time ago) visit to the hotel. If you don't know the place, it's worth pointing out that the Eden Arms is not in a particularly busy spot, and the car park at lunch time yesterday was less than half full. If you have an explanation, I'd be delighted to hear it.

As I remember from a stay there some time ago, it's a very pleasant hotel, but that barrage of signs around the place doesn't give the best of welcomes. It's often that way, though, isn't it, that an off-putting symbol like that can make a first impression which is hard to put right.

Rushyford doesn't get into the same league as the car park attendant at a Leeds hotel I encountered recently. Arriving after a rainy drive, I swung into the covered parking area, and Mr Jobsworth loped across, leaned on my window and said "Wotjuwant?"

With an answer worthy of Oscar Wilde, I replied: "I'm here for the charm school course; I presume you're the tutor."

"No," he countered, "I'm in charge of my car park."

Another failure for my coruscating wit.

Published: 23/07/2003