The boy who drew his perfect family

THE moment they saw him, Helen and Bob Brown knew they wanted to take Gavin home with them. With his cheeky grin and sense of humour, they felt an instant bond with the seven-year-old boy.

For Gavin, who had been in foster care since the age of four, that first meeting marked the beginning of a new life. "It was good," he says, smiling shyly - a huge compliment from a little boy of few words.

Helen and Bob, who live in County Durham, have been married for ten years. Helen has three children from a previous marriage but she and Bob wanted to start a family together. After two failed attempts at IVF, they decided to adopt in the spring of 1997.

"It was actually the children who suggested adoption," explains Helen. "We hadn't really thought about it until then but we all sat down and talked about it and decided that was what we would do and because they were the ones who had suggested it, we knew there wouldn't be any problems of resentment if we did adopt."

Knowing virtually nothing about the adoption process, the couple contacted social services, who put them in touch with Durham Family Welfare, an adoption agency is based in Durham City. It specialises in finding homes for children between the ages of four and nine, sibling groups and those with special needs - children who often have problems finding new families.

The agency has been involved in adoption since 1926. It works closely with local authorities and social services departments throughout the North-East and in the last five years has helped place 88 children with families across the region. Following internal changes, it took on a new identity last month, changing its name to DFW Adoption.

The Browns were introduced to the family placement team and allocated their own social worker who guided them through the process and prepared them to become adopters. They spent the next six months talking about themselves, their marriage, their family life and what sort of child they felt they could manage. Meanwhile, another social worker talked to their other children about the adoption and how they felt about having another child in the house. They were also asked to attend group meetings and training sessions with other adoptive parents.

Everything went smoothly until the couple underwent medicals and Helen was diagnosed with diabetes.

"That slowed things down. We wanted to go ahead as quickly as possible because we really wanted to bring a child into our home, but I had to get the diabetes under control first. It was frustrating but you have to be thorough," she says.

The couple had originally planned to adopt a boy and a girl together, but Helen's daughter Gemma, who was living at home at the time, became pregnant, and they decided they could only adopt one child.

Once they had made the decision, the family placement team began looking for a suitable match. This took several months and they saw other children before Gavin.

Gavin, who is now ten, suffers from foetal alcohol syndrome, a condition caused by his mother drinking while she was pregnant. It slows his development and makes him forgetful.

"Sometimes he can't find the words to say what he wants. He does get frustrated but it isn't really a problem. We're there to help him out when he needs it and it works out fine." says Bob.

Adoption agencies often have problems finding homes for older children or those with special needs as most couples prefer to adopt a baby, but Bob and Helen had no doubts about Gavin.

"I think Gavin was the fourth child we saw. We wanted a younger child but then we met him and everything went out of the window. We felt a bond with him and that was it," recalls Bob.

Helen adds: "We didn't have much information about his condition but it certainly didn't put us off in any way. It was just a question of doing some research and finding out what Gavin's strengths and weaknesses are."

Gavin's condition is not immediately obvious. He sits between his mum and dad, listening to what they say about him and answers questions politely. He seems quieter than most ten-year-old boys but, according to Helen and Bob, he is quite a character at home.

"He's a proper boy. Mischief is his middle name," says Helen, playfully. The couple tease him - something they could only do if they all felt secure in their relationship.

Gavin certainly seems to be thriving. There were a few behavioural problems during the first few months but the Browns think he was just getting used to his new home and testing his boundaries. He has now settled in and gets on brilliantly with the other children. The girls have moved out now but although there's more room in the house, he and big brother, 16-year-old Alan, still share a bedroom.

Helen and Bob first met Gavin at the home of his foster parents and were particularly moved by the drawing he had done of the family he wanted to be part of - a mum with a big hat with a flower in it and a garden with a dog. Gavin may not have got the dog but he did find a loving family and, after a few visits, he was ready to move in.

Helen says: "We were a little bit nervous at first in case he didn't like us but he fitted in like a piece of a jigsaw. He was excited to meet the rest of the family but straight away he treated our house like his. There was no, 'Can I have this or can I do that?'. It was just natural.

"It was just like having a new baby. It's the only way I can describe it. Obviously he wasn't as little as a new baby but I had the same sort of feelings I did when I had my other children."

The couple want to complete their family by adopting a girl and are currently waiting for a match to be found.

"We're really excited. Adoption has been brilliant for us and we would recommend it to anyone," says Bob.

"Gavin called us Mam and Dad straight away. It was weird when he first said it, weird but very nice. It gave us the tingles and we knew that we were a family."

Next Monday: Sam Sharpe had no idea she was adopted but she's now moving to the other side of the world to be with her birth parents