Running on empty

Sadly the reverse is true and we have more gold medallists battling for elbow space in the commentary box than competing on the track as the World Athletics (BBC1 and BBC2) hogs the airwaves.

Remarkably, my sports-hating wife recorded a personal best in the "why am I putting up with this?" event.

"In my day, we wore navy knickers for athletics with a pocket for your handkerchief, instead of parading around in your bra and pants. That woman isn't even wearing pants that match her top and whatever happened to the hop, skip and jump?" she queried as a Cameroon triple jumper with the unfortunate name of Mbango Etone thundered down the runway without the slightest intention of skipping in the middle section of her effort.

Sadly, even the sight of North-East-based athlete Jonathan Edwards in tears over his retirement failed to earn any brownie points. He was overshadowed by criticism of an Estonian discus thrower's garish outfit and a debate over how US hurdler Gail Devers managed to race with a piece of jewellery dangling from what can be only described as her undercarriage.

"And I don't want to know what that chain's attached to," said my unsporting expert, watching the 100m hurdles event through her fingers.

Jon Drummond went down in history as the runner having his 19th nervous breakdown over disqualification from the 100m and proceeded to lie prostrate and protesting on the track. The man who has been doing a much better job of strutting his stuff in this fashion is Mick Jagger. The legendary womaniser is now famous for refusing to discuss this area of his appeal (well it can't all be rumours) and The One And Only Rolling Stones (BBC1, Sunday) kept well away from affairs of the heart or of any other kind for that matter. The much-vaunted relationship with Marianne Faithfull seemed like hits that passed in the night, with her recollection of the dirty old devil and drugs being "I was too young to really understand what was happening".

Jagger's pulling power remains the fact that most men of a certain age can either impersonate his voice or pout their lips while gyrating around like this splendid old remnant of rock. Clips from his 43-year-old career show Mr J's descent from grammar school golly-gee to streetwise "yeah-well" accent and back again. How crackle-faced Keith Richards remains alive and upright is another wonder of the rock world, but he does and long may Brown Sugar remain part of any self-respecting reunion disco. I loved Jagger's daughter Jade's pride at taking her children to watch granddad on stage. But a few former wives and lovers might have wanted to paint it just a little blacker.

Published: 30/08/2003