The Booze Cruise (ITV1): THIS one-off comedy wasn't so much three men in a boat as four men in a car, and one hiding in the trailer as he'd forgotten his passport.

They weren't all going on a summer holiday - although, at one point, they did all start singing the Cliff Richard song - but on a day trip to Calais to stock up on cheap booze.

The script by Brian Leveson and Paul Minett was totally predictable. Everything you thought would happen to a bunch of Brits abroad did happen. But a more-than-capable cast under Paul Seed's direction made The Booze Cruise as much fun as you can have without getting drunk. There's something pleasing about watching a top-notch cast going about their comic business with good timing and attention to detail, no matter how predictable their antics are.

This also had the unexpected bonus of Martin Clunes as, not so much a man behaving badly, as an actor behaving differently. All his usual cheeky laddishness was gone, replaced by the serious look and demeanour of a middle-aged businessman. Not a very successful one, as his finances collapsed as he was aboard the Channel ferry. Following his dramatic turn in Goodbye Mr Chips at Christmas, Clunes need do no more to prove his versatility.

His Clive joined Rob (Neil Pearson), Dave (Mark Benton), and Maurice (Brian Murphy) on the trip. Also along for the ride - in the trailer - was Clive's soon-to-be son-in-law Daniel (Ben Whishaw, seemingly doing a Lee Evans impersonation).

Their travels were inter-cut with the women they left behind back home, as they organised a wedding or took a chainsaw to unwanted trees.

Of course, the journey wouldn't have been fun without a certain friction between the passengers. This began early on as Rob objected to losing his usual seat alongside driver Dave, to Clive.

"I don't do very well travelling in the back," said Clive.

"Perhaps you will do better with a bit of practice," said Dave, turfing him out into the back seat. It came as no surprise to find Clive vomiting by the roadside in the next scene.

Equally predictable was Maurice, a true Brit with a grudge against foreigners - something of a handicap on the trip to France. He even complained that the safety instructions broadcast over the tannoy on the ferry were longer in French than in English. "Typical of the French," he moaned.

He was, however, able to supply useful information about the country's history. Napoleon, he contended, lost the battle of Waterloo because he was laid up with haemorrhoids.

Taking him seriously was difficult after Rob's artistry with the sunblock left Maurice with the word "tit" branded on his bald head.

Dave worried that they weren't sticking to their timetable, after making the booze cruisers get up at 5.30 in the morning to save all of £20 on the cost of their sea crossing.

Back home, things weren't going much better. The bride's mother discovered her daughter having sex with the wedding photographer while wearing her bridal dress. And, oh yes, their car was repossessed and credit cards unusable.

Daniel didn't seem too worried on learning of his fiance's betrayal, as he was too busy chasing the French girl he'd knocked off her bike. Like the rest of The Booze Cruise, this was predictable but fun.

Published: 08/09/2003