PUBLICITY mad creator of Sex And The City Candace Bushnell has revealed her secret for a happy relationship.

The 44-year-old writer has discovered the delights of dating a younger man and now claims she would never consider going out with someone over 30.

In the past researching her television series, Candace has hooked up with rich men, foreign men and married men but now she is convinced youth is all that matters.

And the New Yorker is not alone, Demi Moore is having a very public relationship with actor Ashton Kutcher - 15 years her junior.

Elsewhere Madonna at 42 is happily married to 32-year-old Guy Ritchie and actress Minnie Driver, 33, is dating 21-year-old tennis star Robby Ginepri.

So what is the attraction of a toy boy - stamina, youthful good looks, a full head of hair?

Yes, men in their 20s have all these things but they also all have another thing in commom - an annoying tendency to grow up.

You have to ask whether these famous women will still be excited by their toy boys when they are puffing on a pipe and warming their slippers by the fire.

OK the femme fatales will still be older than their beaus but the initial attraction of the age difference will quickly disappear.

It doesn't matter how old your man is when you meet him, the chances are he will still get a beer belly, a bald patch and a bad back.

But before old age hits your man there's the problem of holding onto a young stud when you are a blue-rinsed pensioner and he has just reached the prime of his life.

Fidelity is an issue for most couples but if you'd rather stay in and wash your false teeth while your younger husband is out on the town problems will soon occur.

The delights of being wined and dined by a swarve professional in his 40s may sound great but if you can only eat soft food and have to be asleep by 8pm things are hardly going to last.

And what will you have to talk about when the intital pillow talk has been replaced by noisy snoring?

Women who grew up in the 50s and 60s will always have difficulty getting to grips with high-tech pop culture and fashion.

No man wants his wife to become an embarressing wrinkly who tries far too hard to be hip or even worse mutton dressed as very tacky lamb.

It seems to me that women who grab hold of younger men are simply showing their own insecurities.

They can't face up to the fact they haven't already bagged a man and in so many botox-filled ways they can't compete with younger women in the bedroom or boardroom.

So these ladies of a certain age use the only sure-fire tools they have - money, experience and power.

Waft any of these under the nose of a nave young man and he'll come running quicker than you can say 'Mrs Robinson.'

That's why it's always the older woman in the famous relationships who we have heard of - the men are simply attracted by what they can get whether its cash, recognition or lessons in bedroom gymnastics.

Young men might be many things but stupid they are not - and the only thing guaranteed is they will milk their rich, older women for everything they can before moving on to someone with less wrinkles, less hang-ups and more birthdays ahead of them.

Published: 12/09/2003