Dating in the Dark

Yes, according to New Yorkers, the best way to meet your future love is to sit down to dinner with a group of strangers and switch the lights off!

This crazy idea started off as a food-tasting event - the idea being you can concentrate on what you are eating if you can't look around and be distracted by the gorgeous person sitting opposite.

But it has now been hijacked by the growing group of 20-somethings singles who find it impossible to meet a partner at work (because they spend most of their lives with people they wouldn't want to see outside the office) or in a noisy nightclub (where they are all too drunk to be discerning).

The first UK Dating in the Dark event has just taken place in London with a group of suspects plunged into darkness and forced to get along.

Now I'm all for new dating techniques but trying to get to know someone with the lights turned off sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

To start with it doesn't matter how much we all claim to rank personality above looks - a handsome face is attractive.

There isn't a woman alive who, given photos of David Dickinson and David Beckham, would plumpt for the antiques expert.

But put the two Daves in the dark and Mr Dickinson's smooth tones would sound a lot more attractive then Beck's squeaky voice and you could be inclined to hand over your number to the wrong man.

Then just imagine your shock when the lights went back on and you were faced with that orange perma tan and those gleaming white teeth - a romantic choice without sight could be very dangerous.

Real love obviously goes a lot deeper than looks but they do play a part at the start of any affair.

Then there is the problem of trying to eat in the dark. Having a meal on a first date is a recipe for disaster at the best of times but how on earth are you meant to tackle spaghetti, oysters or even a glass of red wine when you can't see your hand in front of your face never mind a fork.

The last thing you want when you have spent all evening practicing your Marella Frostop sexy voice is to find you have thrown half your meal down your white shirt once the lights are turned back on.

I can understand that sitting in the dark gives you a sense of anonymity and confidence but what's the point of striking up a bold conversation with someone if you know you'll go to pieces in daylight?

Then there's the problem of needing to go to the bathroom - at these embarrassing functions you actually have to put your hand up and be led to the loo by a waiter!

At least us ladies won't have to spend hours reapplying our make-up - there'll be no point when no-one can see your glowing cheeks or bleeding lipstick.

If you ask me, sitting in the dark with a group of strangers who all have one thing on their mind is all a bit seedy and intimidating.

This kind of set-up would be fine if all you wanted was no-strings sex.

Eating an meal in the dark could easily be the apertiser to an orgy where everyone could pretend to be someone they're not and leave before the lights were switched on - but if it's romance you're after I can't see the darkness sparking any flames.

To my mind Dating in the Dark is just another gimmick used to get busy, single people to hand over hard-earned cash with a false promise of romance.

In the real world meeting a future partner involves watching body language and looking for little signs of attraction as much as listening to what someone has to say.

If you want a modern way to meet a lover - I'd recommend trying e-dating or speed dating - both are quick, fun and convenient and most importantly you can see exactly what you are getting into!

Published: 12/09/2003