THOSE of us who love North Yorkshire share a rather jaded joke - we hope to keep our delights a secret. In the honeypot Dales, we failed, but proof arrived last week that the Moors remain our private playground.
A recent edition of a London-based newspaper carried a report of the fire which has been raging across the North York Moors. Alongside the report was a map of England with the area shaded to indicate the location.
Further into the newspaper was a report about a walk in the Hindu Kush, but no map. South of Watford Gap, there is a deprived group of people whose mental map includes other continents, but not one of the glories of this country.
Own up
RIGHT, no-one is leaving the room until Spectator gets an answer to this question.
Which miscreant at the Yorkshire Dales National Park is responsible for the logo produced for the park's 50th anniversary celebrations next year.
Spectator is giving you all detention until someone owns up.
Was the logo - pictured in all its glory - sketched on the back of a planning application, or is it a tremendously subtle and meaningful image which encapsulates the Yorkshire Dales but is way over Spectator's head?
As someone who occasionally dons hiking boots, Spectator would also be a bit alarmed at meeting a tandem, or a horse, on top of a fell.
Generosity?
HELP is on its way for the deaf, which can only be good. The new project will particularly address the need for interpreters and up to £150,000 will be spent between health professionals in Tees Valley and County Durham. The same report, published last week, tells us there are 202,300 people in the area with a hearing impairment.
Simple mathematics reduces this to less than £1 per person. By the time the project has been "fine tuned by PCTs, hospital executives and social services directors", Spectator wonders how much will be spent on helping the deaf.
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