TURNING a top Tory MP into a single mum for a week was always going to be a more exciting idea in the planning rather than the execution.

The result was childless wealthy Conservative MP for Kensington and Chelsea Michael Portillo smiling benignly at Jenny Miner's four bewildered Liverpool scallywags as he tried to persuade them to eat home-made banana trifle.

It was about as believable as Barclaycard's chief Matthew Barrett buying something on credit.

When Michael Portillo Became A Single Mum (BBC2, Wednesday) had Jenny hidden away nearby, watching the proceedings on camera.

She raged as "call me Michael not mum" Portillo forced difficult eight-year-old daughter Ellie to read her book properly while doing the washing-up.

She couldn't understand why he didn't sit down with the child and listen one-to-one. My resident mother-of-three spotted the flaw.

"He can't let her sit on his lap or even give the children, particularly the girls, a cuddle because it would be considered improper.

Even a close friend of the family has to be careful," she pointed out. So the experiment foundered on Britain's obsession with political correctness.

The most politically correct of all was "call me Michael", who didn't once raise his voice - and boy did he have cause - as he coped manfully with an £80 food budget, his four charges and two jobs.

As an infant school teaching assistant the former Defence Secretary wore a fetching beige smock while bosses at Asda arranged a green uniform and baseball cap for shelf-stacking duties.

The MP's lowest point was scooping a dropped egg from the kitchen floor and putting it into the kids' evening meal.

But, overall, his poor parenting skills were at least equal to Jenny who is making the same traditional mistakes of most of us by spoiling the youngest, being hardest on the eldest and letting lads get away with murder.

Mum wasn't impressed by Portillo's instant bond with older daughter Tasha, 12, and was unsettled by his assessment that children do need father figures and the run-down area suffered from low expectations.

She retaliated by cleaning the kitchen floor and surfaces as soon as she was allowed access.

"That's a typical woman's reaction and she'd have done it even if had been another woman acting as mum," said my wife.

I like the way Portillo dealt with "Are you famous? Are you rich? Do you have servants?" questions from the children.

He admitted being on TV in the past, modest wealth and kept quiet about his house-keeper... and probably having a nanny who made him banana trifle.

More expectations came crashing to earth in the return of old favourite Superstars (BBC1, Thursday) when well-known sporting celebrities like champion hurdler Colin Jackson giggled their way through what was supposed to be a gruelling test of stamina.

"I don't know whether my memory is playing tricks, but I'm sure the contestants took it more seriously last time.

I suppose this lot are so wealthy that they see it more as having a laugh with their mates," said my wife, who recalls Kevin Keegan trying so hard he crashed his bike and Brian Jacks' legendary efforts in the gym.

At least presenter Johnny Vaughan remained on-form with a few improper suggestions to co-host Suzi Perry.