Men In Tights (ITV1), Pornography The Musical (C4): Inevitably, one ballet hopeful said, "I could be the next Billy Elliot".

He wasn't a scrawny schoolboy but a burly Tyneside shipbuilder, one of eight Swan Hunter shipyard workers recruited to join the English National Ballet.

No wonder principal soloist Daniel Jones sometimes assumed the alarmed appearance of a schoolboy cornered by the playground bullies as he taught them to dance in a month. There were times you'd have understood him throwing up his arms in despair and walking away.

In true showbiz tradition, it was all right on the night as they performed with ENB dancers in front of fellow workers on the factory floor.

This was entertaining in an obvious sort of way. It took people's preconceptions about tough Northern workers and sissy Southern dancers, and spent an hour exploiting those prejudices as they swapped overalls and steel toe-caps for tights and ballet shoes.

There was no reason for this to happen other than to make a TV documentary. It wasn't a team-building challenge or a charity fund-raiser, merely an excuse for an hour's worth of TV.

We didn't really find out why the eight - chosen from open auditions at the shipyard - risked ridicule and "all ballet dancers are poufs" insults from workmates. One hoped it might be a career move, while another was on the opinion that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it".

The men learned that ballet wasn't just prancing around, while Jones discovered that keeping Newcastle lads off the booze isn't easy.

Pornography The Musical found sex industry workers doing something different. As well as talking frankly about their activities, they sang about them in musical numbers you won't hear in a Rodgers and Hammerstein show.

Semi-retired porn star Kelly said she'd love to go into journalism, gaining success using her brain not her body. Rachel had her arm twisted to get into the industry and, judging by her performance that's not the only limb contortion she performs for the camera.

I felt sorry for Rebekah who filmed a water sports video - and we're not talking underwater tiddlywinks - without taking the precaution of wearing waterproof mascara.

"Everyone has a vocation in life. This is what I am meant to do. I love my job, I love my career, I love the industry," she said. How nice to find someone who's happy in their work. So is sex-mad Faye, who feels being a porn star is "the best way to sort me out".

She's a bukkake specialist. The name is taken from an old Japanese word and involves one women and a group of men. The video director asked the male participants to raise their hand at the climactic moment so he could get a close-up with the camera. It's not, I suspect, the sort of direction that Steven Spielberg ever has to give.

Published: 22/10/2003