THANK goodness David Blaine has finally come out of his perspex box and put us all out of our misery.

Am I the only one who missed the magic of David's latest stunt?

Where was the illusion, the razzmatazz, the trickery?

We watched a man enter a box, sit there for over a month and then leave in tears - not very exciting and hardly magical.

David calls himself an illusionist and so there have been hundreds of conspiracy theories about what slight of hand tricks he used to survive 44 days without food.

The theories got more and more elaborate as the torture (for both David and the public) increased.

Was he feeding on bacteria grown on the inside of the box? Was he grabbing a bite to eat while the outside of the box was cleaned? Was his duvet edible?! There were even suggestions that he was not even in the box and we had all been watching a giant hologram.

At least the last theory would have added a bit of excitement to the proceedings.

How great would it have been if they had lowered and opened the box to reveal no David and then the TV cameras had cut to a desert island where he was sunning himself with a pizza in one hand and a beer in the other - now that would have been a spectacle.

Instead we had to suffer a weeping David telling the waiting crowds that he loved them - a statement which made you wonder about the state of his mind!

Surely he couldn't love the egg throwers, flashers and taunters who have surrounded him for the past few weeks?

But of course he did - because without them the whole debacle would have been deathly dull and attracted no interest at all.

When planning his great endurance test David forgot that rather than having great reverence for showbiz personalities - the British love to knock a celebrity.

After the initial excitement of seeing David get in the box we soon got bored and wanted something to happen.

As David continued to stay alive, look quite healthy and failed to entertain the crowds - the crowds decided to create their own entertainment. And that's when the heckling began - all very childish but at least it made the whole stunt seems a bit more interesting.

By the end of the marathon, people were going down to the Thames not to see David but to try and get on the live satellite coverage or to spot the latest exhibitionist taking off their clothes to give the magician an eyeful.

Whatever David's secret of how managed the feat lets hope he adds a bit more glamour to his next human endurance test.

Surely his lovely girlfriend could be roped into wear something short and sparkly to play the magician's assistant rather than donning Marigolds to literally wipe egg of her boyfriend's face.

There are rumours for his next trick David will jump off the 135ft Brooklyn Bridge in New York and run underwater along the river bed for ten minutes - resurfacing several miles away.

Now if he could cover the distance by walking ON water I would be impressed.

Published: 23/10/2003