Backtrack briefs...

While the Tyne and Wear Metro decanted thousands at Kingston Park, the column carried on to Callerton - Newcastle Blue Star v Ashington and in the footsteps, it transpired, of yet another celebrity.

Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy, recently sentenced to 120 hours community service after an unfortunate altercation with a nightclub toilet attendant, has been serving her time at the Wheatsheaf ground.

On a perishing day she'd turned up with T-shirt, designer handbag and immaculate nails and had to be loaned a jacket by a probation officer before being set on scrubbing benches.

Newcastle blue star? "Well she was very polite," reports club secretary Jim Anderson, "but I'm afraid she wasn't very happy."

Usually jaunty, if a member of the ecclesiastical hierarchy may so be described, the Roman Catholic Bishop of Middlesbrough had an even broader smile when we encountered him on Friday evening.

The Rt Rev John Crowley is an avid Arsenal fan and had watched the Inter encounter. "Just fantastic," he said.

From the generally sober-sided Church Times, meanwhile, another agonising question: "Which is the greater sin: to receive surreptitiously a text message during the parish communion giving the score of the England-France rugby match or to insist upon telling the result to other people who'd set their videos to watch the match much later."

Answers are still awaited.

Quart and pint pot meant that it was simply impossible to attend the funeral last Thursday of Owen Willoughby, the indomitable 84-year-old who still combined scouting for Spurs with being the inspiration behind generations of junior footballers around Trimdon.

Mourners overflowed the church, into the ground, even - it was cold outside - into Trimdon Labour Club. "It was a proper Catholic funeral, everyone with their chests puffed out singing their heads off," reports one who squeezed in.

It would, in any case, have been impossible to better Fr Anthony Hastie's opening line: "Owen had a wife, three daughters and a thousand sons...."

Brooks Mileson - sporting philanthropist, chief executive of Gretna FC and rescuer of unwanted animals - has several new additions to his menage.

Brian Wake, the former Tow Law striker, has signed for Gretna from Carlisle but awaits international clearance - Gretna's 15 miles away - while a pair of breeding marmoset monkeys has arrived at the Mileson wildlife park.

Gretna's financial controller rang him. "I hear we've got a new striker."

"What," said Brooks, "Brian Wake?"

"No, the monkeys," said the finance man, "as usual we're only paying them peanuts."

It was, adds Brooks, pretty good for an accountant.

Much excitement around Chester-le-Street, where the under 18 team play at Pride Park, Derby, tonight in the FA Youth Cup third round - further than any other North-East non-league side has ever progressed.

The Chester lads have already beaten Hartlepool and Port Vale, plus several youth teams from more senior clubs. "It doesn't have to end at Derby, we honestly believe we can win," says team manager Andrew Muxworthy.

Middlesbrough have loaned their team coach, Derby County their academy. Twelve of the 19 squad have had professional club trials this season, eight are in the Durham County side. Nineteen in the past four years have progressed into the Northern League.

"People say that Derby's our cup final but I don't see why it should be," says Muxworthy. "We have a realistic chance."

And finally...

The four Premiership clubs whose record defeats were against Blackburn Rovers (Backtrack, November 28) are Man United, Middlesbrough, Birmingham and Aston Villa.

Fred Alderton in Peterlee today seeks the identity of the English club which in 1984 lost a European match to Partizan Belgrade after taking a 4-0 first leg advantage.

We're at home again on Friday.

Published: ??/??/2003