On its 75th anniversary, the church of Our Lady of Lourdes, in Saltburn, remembered some of the colourful characters of tits past.

BEING neither spa, bar nor end of the pier show, the church of Our Lady of Lourdes may be among Saltburn's lesser known attractions. Built on a former rubbish tip, now known locally as The Church in the Glen, it is very attractive for all that.

Tip-top, it was dedicated on November 28, 1928, described - as well a Catholic church might be - as Romanesque. Precisely 75 years later, the richly decorated church was almost filled for the anniversary, Lourdes day once again observed.

On a day when concerns over the king's health dominated the front page and the inside had a story about a good Catholic woman being jailed for an arson attack on the Society for Constructive Birth Control's van, The Northern Echo devoted three back page pictures to the opening by Bishop Shine, of Middlesbrough.

Robed clergy found the breeze troublesome, we reported, beneath a Father Ted-type photograph of priests getting the wind up.

Among the congregation, then as now, was Mrs Pat Straight - "as in straight and narrow" - who at the opening was looking forward to her fourth birthday and has never since lost her affection for the place.

"Always such a beautiful church, always such a warm church," she said.

Pat remembered having to eat fish on Fridays, having her wedding service abridged to ten minutes because her husband wasn't a Catholic and particularly, the arrival in 1955 of Fr Oswin Corboy as parish priest.

At his first Sunday service, he swung round and stared at the choir, all female, telling them after Mass that their services were no longer required as he didn't approve of women singing in church. The weaker sex was silent for 24 years.

Through a handsome commemorative booklet, others recalled Fr Cecil Farrar, the first parish priest, who bred Alsatians out the back; Fr Readman, a pre-war curate who rode a BSA motorbike and was known ("affectionately") as Hellfire Jack; Canon John Chadwick (1945-55) who threatened eternal damnation upon those failing to attend Mass and had doors closed on him as a result; Fr James Gannon (1969-79) who did conjuring tricks and could throw his voice as well. Unsurprisingly, the children loved him.

There was also a photographic exhibition in the foyer. "There's Bishop Harris," someone said, "there's Monsignor Carroll, there's Mutt and Jeff".

The 75th anniversary service was led by the present Bishop of Middlesbrough, the Rt Rev John Crowley, looking as pleased as an avid Arsenal fan might be after the midweek triumph in Milan and attended among others by former Saltburn priests Fr Tony Storey and Fr Patrick Bluett - known to friends (and bishops) as Paddy.

Canon Bill Madden, the present priest, is a golfer, Middlesbrough season ticket holder and humorist.

Fr Storey, there in 1954-55, was known for swimming in the sea - but only, he insisted, in September. "It took until then for the Gulf Stream to get around the corner and by October, it was too cold again."

No Boxing Day dips, then? "I never joined the madmen," said Fr Storey, impishly.

Fr Bluett, parish priest for ten years from 1979, had overseen a major refurbishment, including six stained glass windows, a hanging cross and an organ from a redundant church in Hull; a highly polished new floor and the red carpet upon which the Pope trod during his 1982 Mass in York.

"Several other churches claim to have that carpet but ours is the genuine one," someone said, adding by way of authentication that they'd bought it from a shop in Redcar.

Fr Bluett had also tried, in vain, to ban stiletto heels - the floor bears the impression of his failure - and removed the striped front of the Belgian marble altar.

"He said it looked like a pair of pyjamas," said Pat Straight.

Bishop Crowley recalled that the church had been built in nine months and cost just £3,000 - "about half a day's pay for one of today's top footballers" - and that Bishop Shine had held forth "at considerable length".

His own homily lasted no more than ten minutes, based upon the story of Zaccheus, who climbed a tree in order to get a better view of Jesus.

The King James bible, as possibly we have previously remarked in these columns, says that Zaccheus "couldn't get nigh unto Jesus for the Press". Happily removing temptation from the bishop's path, they used a more modern version. The "crowd" was the problem in that one.

Their church, said Bishop Crowley, was like that sycamore tree - "it gives us extra height in our shortcomings, extra height to see Jesus" - though the church should not just be a safe haven for worshippers but make disciples of all nations.

The music group performed attractively, though not always from the same song sheet as the rest of us. Hymns included Be Still For the Presence of the Lord and In Bread We Bring You.

Had it been a Church of England 75th, they would certainly also have included The Church's One Foundation.

Afterwards in the Church of England hall there was a ceilidh and a bun fight, though the bishop had to be at another do and the column on the second last train. It had been a happy service, veritably a glen of tranquility.