TV review

THE question you were left asking after watching this bawdy romp centred around the famous diarist was an important one - when on earth did he find time to write his diary?

He spent most of this hour-long comedy bonking, seemingly having neither the time nor the energy to put quill pen to parchment. It came as a surprise to find that he'd written six volumes of daily happenings.

But history wasn't a strong point of Guy Jenkins's script, which was more interested in Sam's sex life. Carry On Pepying would have been a more appropriate title.

Having Steve Coogan, or Alan Partridge by any other name, starring as Pepys played up the comic aspects of this version, which opened with a nasty case of coitus interruptus (Sam and a female visitor getting together despite being separated by the bars of a prison cell) and proceeded to play it again Sam, as he romped with an assortment of ladies and trollops, and occasionally his wife.

He married a French woman Elizabeth de St Michel (Lou Doillon) but was unable to resist a pretty face, or an ample bosom to be strictly accurate.

When somebody remarked: "You should see his diary - scribble, scribble, scribble, every night," you had to take their word for it because we saw him in bed rather than at the writing desk.

This uncertain tone - Is it a drama? Is it an historical reconstruction? Is it a comic spin-off of BBC1's recent Charles II series? - left you wondering about the precise point of the exercise, other than to enable Coogan to wear big wigs and pull funny faces. Being neither very funny nor very dramatic, it couldn't fail to disappoint.

The bawdy stuff came in flashbacks as clerk to the Navy Pepys stood trial for treason, for selling secrets to the French. This was one of the few bits of history thrown in, seemingly as an after-thought. The Great Fire of London ("There's a fire in the city" - "I've seen it, a woman could piss it out") Cromwell's death, and Charles II coming to the throne were treated as footnotes to Pepys getting his leg over and over and over.

Boobs and bums were bared, four-letter words uttered and Lord Shaftesbury's intestines made a very public appearance in court. There were moments when you couldn't help but smile, mostly thanks to Coogan's comic timing as when he promised not to be unfaithful again to his wife, then paused before adding: "And if I do, I will put a full crown in the parish poor box".

The box must have been overflowing and the poor considerably richer by the time he'd finished.

Peter Pan, Newcastle Theatre Royal

THIS is a show that really gets the kids involved, including the youngsters of Marron Theatre Arts, who take the chorus and some of the principal roles.

Lauren Hall as Wendy has a bright future: her acting, singing and dancing were professional beyond her age. Daniel Henderson and Stephen Lawton as Wendy's brothers Michael and John also gave accomplished performances, although when Daniel took off from the stage on his first flight with Peter Pan, it seemed his pyjamas might throttle him.

Tim Healy had a wonderful time in his dual role as Mr Darling and Captain Hook, revelling in the boos that greeted his every entrance.

The Pirates were suitably dozy and not at all scary - the scariest thing was the crocodile, although one child was reduced to tears of fright by Nana, the Darling's affable dog.

Stacey Cadman's Peter Pan was likeable and energetic, although her singing voice wandered a bit. Still, it can't be easy hovering fifteen feet above the stage. The Pirates' dance was entertaining, and Jonny Reagan showed himself to have a natural comic timing, which added to the fun.

We saved naughty Tinkerbell by affirming our belief in fairies, although we did it by wishing really hard instead of clapping as we've done in the past - not as effective, I thought.

But the best bit was the battle at the end, when we helped Peter Pan rescue Wendy and the Lost Children by pelting the Pirates with foam 'rocks'. Very satisfying.

A good time was had by all.

Sue Heath

* Runs until January 18. Booking Office: 0870 905 5060