A TRAINEE midwife from the North-East, who has already spent £16,000 on cosmetic surgery in pursuit of the perfect body, is ignoring medical advice and travelling to the States for a further breast enhancement.

But if she won't listen to the experts, shouldn't Louise Wilkinson, who has also had tummy tucks and liposuction, at least consider the new mums she will be administering to? The last thing a bloated, flabby, new mum needs is to see a nurse who looks like she's come straight from a Carry On film set tottering about the ward.

TV personality Vanessa Feltz is appearing on ITV's Celebrity Fit Club after putting nearly half the six stones she lost recently back on again. Her own approach to weight loss clearly hasn't worked. So can all those people who paid good money for her diet and exercise videos get their money back?

ON the day Britain's biggest serial killer Harold Shipman was found dead, I was poignantly reminded of another doctor who has left a very different trail of misery and grief in his wake here in the North-East.

Sheila Wright-Hogeland, one of many women butchered and left unable to have children by disgraced gynaecologist Richard Neale, spoke movingly on Radio 4 about what she went through at this incompetent and arrogant surgeon's hands.

I have met Mrs Wright-Hogeland, a former model, and she is beautiful and elegant. But her face betrays an underlying sadness, etched with grief for the children she and her husband dreamed of, but were cruelly denied.

Mrs Wright-Hogeland, who got together with other victims to campaign to have Mr Neale struck off in Britain, reminded us of all those who have suffered - and are still suffering - because of Neale's actions. Many have been left doubly incontinent. Such debilitating conditions left women unable to hold down jobs. Some lost their homes, families were torn apart.

I wonder if any of those responsible for keeping Neale in employment at Northallerton's Friarage Hospital for so long, or those who helped cover up his mistakes, heard the programme? At least, thanks largely to Mrs Wright-Hogeland, we can be thankful there will be no more suffering at this particular doctor's hands.

I SAW shoppers hurling packs of Scottish-farmed salmon into their trolleys at our local Safeway, despite warnings that it now contains dangerous levels of cancer-causing toxins. So why was it leaping off the shelves? Is it because we have had so many health scares we don't take them seriously any more? Or because it was on special offer? Supermarkets realise we are sophisticated enough to treat life as an exercise in comparative risk assessment - but, most importantly, if the price is right, we'll buy it.

The eight-year-old came home yesterday and announced he had to go to school this morning dressed as a Viking. After a mad scramble, I managed to create a helmet, complete with horns and nose guard. We used an assortment of old cardigans, brooches and leather belts to make an outfit. Minutes before the bus was due, I tied strips of rags round his legs as a finishing touch. "Perfect," I said. He suddenly looked worried: "At least, I think it was today..."