Director's Commentary (ITV1), The National Trust (BBC2): Marion and Geoff actor Rob Brydon is heard but not seen in his new comedy series Director's Commentary and, in the first programme, is assisted by the cast of US western series Bonanza and BBC period piece The Duchess Of Duke Street.

The result is original and often very funny. Brydon is the voice of fictional director Peter De Lane, as he gives a DVD-style director's commentary over shows he made. You can only marvel at the sense of humour of the original programme-makers who've given him the rights to mock them.

The script (by Brydon and Paul Duddridge) has fun at the expense of the original series and De Lane himself. He was keen to point out his brilliance as a film-maker. "Look what I've done - put a good guy in a black hat," he said of one scene on Bonanza.

His trademark shots, like a dog in a bucket, were pointed out. This was fine in Bonanza, but proved more difficult in Cyrano De Bergerac, where he had to settle for a kitten in a bucket.

Secrets of making the series were given away. No one was allowed to mention star Lorne Greene's wig - "keep off the Lorne" as he called it. "Lovely work" by an actor turned out to be because he'd just had a minor stroke, and in the credits actors weren't riding unseen horses but were on the shoulders of other actors.

We also got a sense of De Lane the man as he rejected allegations made by women's groups, such as Atomic Kitten, that he was a misogynist. "You can't get married as often as I have - six times - without loving women," he said, although admitted some relationships were little more than "a splash and dash".

The commentary allowed him to recall a wonderful old actress named Emily, shown in The Duchess Of Duke Street doing what she did best - getting in and out of vintage cars. She now has a residency at Beaulieu Motor Musuem, where visitors can see her getting in and out of such vehicles "and on Bank Holidays doing Bluebird".

They don't make them like that any more, but that doesn't stop The National Trust trying to recreate them. The latest chapter of the documentary series followed the organisation's attempts to restore John Lennon's childhood home in Liverpool.

Like previous episodes about Studland Bay, this did nothing to inspire confidence in the Trust. The head curator was against the Lennon project, while the man in charge was given a new job halfway through restoration work.

Perhaps the Trust should stick to what it knows best, stately homes, rather than tackle an anonymous pebble-dashed semi on a dual carriageway leading out of Liverpool.

They also had to contend with Ono's team of advisers, who insisted on being consulted, and voicing opinions, every step of the way. I longed for Peter De Lane to add his voice to the debate.

Zipp! Darlington Civic Theatre

TAKE the chance to choke back the tears of laughter as Gyles Brandreth's irreverent look at the world of musicals provides non-stop entertainment without disappearing up its own aria. You could wish for a better singer, but Brandreth's talents lie in sending up himself "the only ex-Tory MP not in prison at the moment" and light-heartedly insulting anyone out of earshot. Pianist/singer Stuart Barr is introduced as a Harry Potter look-alike and "so glad we got him back safely from that last sleep-over at Michael Jackson's". So the repartee is topical as well as breathtaking. Andrew C Wadsworth, Amanda Symonds and Shona White deliver most of the show-stopping songs with the trio, occasionally, allowed to perform more than two or three lines. The centre-piece, however, is asking a middle-aged front-seat audience member ("Grecian 2000 is so useful" witters Brandreth) to draw "at random" the characters of a child, nun, goat-herd, Nazi and sea captain to somehow slot together as an unlikely musical. Of course, Brandreth's pen has produced a parody of the Sound Of Music, with Wadsworth bringing the house down as a pig-tailed daughter of Dick Van Trapp wearing a Hitler moustache. There is a little touch of Sondheim to return to sanity before a 16-musical tribute to Andrew Lloyd's Bank inflicts a mortal comic insult to Britain's favourite composer. Mr B's sense of the insane even extends to the credits, where he lists a personal assistant, trainer, lifecoach, nun (Mother Basil), freshness adviser (Joanna Lumley), style consultant (Ian McKellen) and African kimono (loaned by John Prescott). Zipp! to see this.

Viv Hardwick

l Runs until Saturday. Box Office: (01325) 486 555

Nutcracker!, Newcastle Theatre Royal

WHEN the curtain goes up on this Matthew Bourne production, you might be forgiven for thinking you've stumbled into Annie by mistake. Gone is the lavish Christmas party scenery of the original ballet, to be replaced by that of an orphanage. There may be no redheaded waif wailing about the sun coming out, but there are plenty of orphans and a couple of bad guys to terrorize them - namely Dr Dross and his wife. The ragamuffins also have to contend with the pair's bratty children, Sugar and Fritz.

This, as you may have surmised, is a much darker production than the original, saccharine-soaked ballet. Excellent make-up makes the Dross duo truly menacing and the opening scenes, with their cleverly designed set, create a real Dickensian feel.

Thankfully though, it isn't all doom and gloom. In fact, humour plays a key role in both the choreography and the amazing costumes. I particularly liked those in the second act, which imaginatively portrayed the different sweets in Sweetieland.

The characters are wonderfully camp, especially the suave Knickerbocker glory, and the fact that they are carried through the whole ballet, with the second act sweets recognisable as the orphanage waifs, makes this version more consistent than the original.

While the Nutcracker will always be a favourite, Matthew Bourne does it no disservice with this funny, fresh and funky take. My only criticism is the lack of live music, which I think is a big part of the ballet experience.

Sarah Foster

l Runs until Saturday. Box office 0870 905 5060

Published: ??/??/2003