JUST the ticket, or whatever the appropriate phrase may be, retired teacher Peter Cardno has produced another of his delightful books on half-forgotten North-East bus companies.
This one's about Wilkinson's, familiarly Wilkie's, of Sedgefield - a fascinating journey along 48 years of transport and social history.
Peter writes not just about Derv and swerve, but about the people who worked on the buses and who made the television sitcom seem sober sided by comparison.
There were characters like leading driver Nesbitt Storey, fined twenty shillings on January 20, 1940 for the ambiguous offence of "not having lights on a motor bus properly screened", driver David Hillerby, who has co-written the book and Cyril Bailes, still alive, whose Leyland Tiger was in collision half way to Blackpool with a lorry load of circus lions.
Three escaped lions had to be shot; the Tiger was more or less unscathed.
Most of all there was Peter Santi - a canny few Santis around Sedgefield - who'd already had damaging collisions with several cows and a pig when a colleague suggested that by arithmetical progression, he was due an elephant next.
They'd possibly forgotten about life and death with the lions.
Finally the boss's patience snapped like a broken brake cable. After three minor accidents in a day, Peter was demoted to night cleaner, a career path further overshadowed by the fact that he was afraid of the dark.
Seeking company and protection, Peter took his Alsatian in with him - until the dawn that man and pet were found on the luggage rack, jointly fast asleep on the job.
That he again survived may have had something to do with the fact that he always had a glass of whisky, hair of the dog, awaiting at Sedgefield Social Club for the gaffer.
The company had been founded in 1920 by local lad Tom Wilkinson, using his World War I gratuity. Soon the cream coaches were familiar throughout south Durham, and over the hills to Blackpool, earning (say the authors) "an enviable reputation for quality."
They also earned Tom Wilkinson a very comfortable living. In 1936 he was on the maiden voyage of the Queen Mary, so impressed that he called his buses "Roadliners" on his return.
Locally, however, at least one continued with the nickname Mightetta - as in "might etta get out and push".
Tom also continued to drive his Jaguar during the war, quoting "essential business" whenever challenged.
Different companies ensured that six or seven buses an hour might run between Sedgefield and Stockton, a dozen of Wilkie's might head for the Tower on summer weekends, specials picked up everyone from the first Aldermaston marchers to the Dagenham Girl Pipers.
The weekly mystery trips, however, proved pretty easy to unravel: 2/6d meant Seaton Carew, four shillings Redcar and 4/6d Richmond.
For almost 25 years until 1950, the fares didn't go up once. "Today it seems quite strange to imagine the cost of goods remaining the same for years on end", says Peter.
Today they wouldn't even be called fare increases. They'd call it a "revision".
Tom Wilkinson was 60 when he died on New Year's Day 1950, succeeded in Wilkie's driving seat by his nephew Gordon Thompson, known as TGT. After Gordon's death in 1966, the company said to have been ten years ahead of its time was sold the following year.
United paid £95,000 for 14 vehicles, three company cars, premises, serried services and an awful lot of goodwill.
l Peter Cardno, chairman of the northern branch of the Omnibus Society, next plans books on Trimdon Motor Services and on Crowe Bros of Osmotherley and is anxious to hear (01642 582947) from anyone with factual, anecdotal or photographic memories of either.
Wilkinson's of Sedgefield, extensively and nostalgically illustrated, is available from Sedgefield post office, C&G Models in Darlington, local bookshops or from Peter Cardno at 22 Welldale Crescent, Stockton-on-Tees TS19 7HU, priced £9.50 plus £1 p&p.
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