IN an episode of the TV show Porridge, the old lag Fletcher is discussing life with his arch rival, prison officer McKay.

Fletch reveals how his relatives always thought they were working class - until they visited McKay's home town of Glasgow, when they realised they were middle class.

Two decades later and the joke found its way into an episode of Auf Wiedersehen Pet, which was shot on Teesside.

This time, while dismantling the Transporter Bridge, the Scouse member of the gang cracks the same "working class' gag but with Middlesbrough as the butt. It fitted in with the programme's bleak portrayal of the town.

We can all take a joke, but I was disappointed to discover writers Ian La Frenais and Dick Clement have decided it's open season on Middlesbrough again in the current series - even though it's set in Cuba.

This time it is the Brummie brickie who feels the need to do the town down.

After explaining that he is reading a book by Hemingway because he likes literature that refers to the area in which he is working, he is asked what he read in Middlesbrough.

His answer is something along the lines of: "There isn't any literature associated with Middlesbrough... only White Papers on pollution.''

In fact, Middlesbrough has won awards for its clean air, but why let mere facts get in the way of another chance to perpetuate an inaccurate stereotype to 11 million British viewers - and millions more across the globe?

Auf Wiedersehen is, in fact, an example of Middlesbrough literature. It was dreamt up by Teesside-born Franc Roddam and was originally about three lads from Middlesbrough. But script-writers La Frenais and Clement changed the central characters to Geordies.

Some might accuse me of being over-sensitive, but I think it's a shame that one of the few programmes that features North-East characters spends so much time doing down the region.

The fact is that, today, I will be addressing a conference at the Middlesbrough Teaching and Learning Centre focusing on the massive strides that have been made in combatting crime and improving the local environment.

The conference was arranged because Middlesbrough Council has been inundated with requests to share the secrets of our success in improving the quality of life for local people.

And over 200 leading businessmen and senior public officials from all over Britain have come to Middlesbrough to listen and learn.

This comes hot on the heels of the visit of the Lord Chancellor, Lord Falconer, who came to see for himself the success our wardens have had in the fight against crime.

The BBC is coming under intense pressure in the light of the Hutton Report to ensure that its news bulletins are accurate. I do hope some of this commitment to truth rubs off on the light entertainment department.

The reality is that far more people will hear a falsehood broadcast on a prime time TV comedy than a 6am Radio Four news bulletin.

Perhaps, in future, we can say hello truth, Auf Wiedersehen petty cheap shots.

Published: 30/01/2004