TV review

AND so we bid farewell yet again to Liz McDonald, glamorous granny and soap's most unsympathetic mother-in-law. She was given her marching orders by son Steve at the instigation of his new second wife - and indeed, his previous wife as well - Karen, whose twitchiness has reached such an advanced state that the invitation to be patron of the St Vitus Dance Association must be in the post.

The problem between the two - three, if you count Steve, but nobody does - is baby Amy, the soap child formerly known as Patience (after being bought for a few thousand quid by Roy Cropper and his sex change wife Hayley, formerly Harold - but that's another, long story).

Granny Liz, whose mini-skirts and cleavage-revealing outfits are a danger to both her health and public order, is all for coochy-cooing over said infant. She even agreed to become a godparent, although more to spite Karen than out of any grandmotherly feelings.

Her excuse was that Steve was the father, regardless of the fact that he's said he wants nothing to do with either his offspring or Tracy.

Karen's response was to gatecrash the christening, attempt to pull out the hair of Amy's mother Tracy, and then bash her in the face. How we all cheered when terrible Tracy was thumped.

She's now sporting a beauty of a black eye and vowing revenge on Karen. Great-grandmother Blanche backed her fully. When father Ken dared to express some sympathy with Karen's actions, Blanche snapped: "If this was wartime you would be hanging from a lamp post."

This family scene at the Barlows was like the Waltons compared to the argy-bargy going on round at the McDonalds' flat, where Steve was giving his mother her marching orders - but not before she'd called her daughter-in-law a money-grabbing scumbag and reminded everyone that Karen had previously run off with her boss at the knicker factory.

Steve, caught in the middle of two angry women, could only stand there open-mouthed like a goldfish gulping for air. Karen was remarkably restrained considering the abuse that Liz, whose patience is as short as her skirts, was hurling at her.

Not that she didn't land a few verbal punches of her own. Surely, Liz said to her son, he wouldn't put his own mother out on the street.

"It wouldn't be the first time," said Karen.

So Liz has bid a tearful farewell (well, as tearful as cheap mascara will allow) to Weatherfield but not before uttering an Arnie-like promise that she'll be back.

And we know she'll keep her word, as actress Beverly Callard, who squeezes into Liz's tight little outfits, is returning full-time to the Street later in the year. A rematch with Karen is something to look forward to.

Darlington and Dales Youth Orchestra, St Cuthbert's Church, Darlington

THE newly-formed Darlington and Dales Youth Orchestra burst into promising life with its inaugural concert at St Cuthbert's Church, in Darlington.

Not shy of taking on a challenge, the budding musicians supported by a handful of tutors from the Northern Sinfonia, tackled a demanding programme with enthusiasm and verve.

They opened with Haydn's Symphony No. 100 in G major Military.

The interpretation, under the experienced hand of conductor Chris Griffiths, was well shaped and true to the martial spirit of the score, with a well held tempo throughout. Any hint of dissonance or odd stray note was drowned out by the heartfelt sincerity of the playing and added, if anything, to the endearing charm of their efforts.

Special mention goes to principal flute Katia Sartini, whose instrument radiated through the piece. Jeremy Evans on cello was a picture of studious intent, while Rebecca Cleobury-Jones underpinned the score with solid work on her double bass.

Guest artist John Cushing, sponsored by Jupiter Band Instruments, then put on a virtuoso rendition of Carl Maria von Weber's Clarinet Concerto with sensitive backing from the orchestra.

They then successfully conveyed the sweeping swells of the sea evoked by Mendelssohn's technically difficult Hebrides Overture: Fingals Cave.

The event concluded with a world premiere of Ringing the Changes for hand bells, horn and orchestra.

Jointly composed by Griffiths and Derek Hobbs, it summed up the mood of youthful optimism.

This new venture can only go from strength to strength.

Gavin Engelbrecht