Shoptalk

It's a long way from Bunty...

Time for another look.

Actually, it's another world. It's a world populated entirely by teenage girls, boy bands and a few really older people - in their twenties. Action takes place almost entirely in shopping malls and bedrooms and very occasionally school. Families appear only on problem pages. And it even has its own language - exhaustingly breathless and abbreviated, as in: "Our fave celebs cos they're the buffest boys around."

They are full of quizzes and flowcharts (much easier because you don't have to keep track of the score). They have letters, problem pages and embarrassing moments - inevitably to do with breaking wind or vomiting. Or both. They have beauty tips, fashion hints and lots and lots and lots about boys.

OK, it's not exactly the world of Jane Austen, but are these magazines really corrupting the nation's innocent girlhood?

BLISS £2

"The best feeling in the world"... "Dad's pervy sex letters to me"... "I'm addicted to shoplifting..." "13 pages of lush lads..."

A piece on shoplifting that actually gives you some good tips on how to get away with it (though, of course, we haven't tested them). Lots of reader involvement - guest editor, trend spotters, competition for new writers. Strong on shopping and fashion.

BUT among the ads we spotted one for fake ID. Hmmm.

Problem page: "Isn't a few months of hard work and revision worth a lifetime free of regret?"... "I bet you're stunning but you don't realise it"... "Physical abuse is devastating, but it's even harder for lads to talk about"!

Overall: Is there anything else in the world apart from shopping? And we're not happy about the fake ID.

H COSMO GIRL £2

Our favourite for 15s and upwards

Divided into four sections Inner Girl, Guys, Style and Stars, which says it all really.

True life stories: "They said I'd never walk again"... "I met a stranger from the Internet"... "When crushes turn dangerous"...

Sexy sixth formers... A- Z of guys... Find out if he fancies you... plus lots of beauty, music, fashion winners of the Cosmo Girl talent competition.

Problem page: "Casual sex with this guy is not the answer, plus at 15, it's illegal"... "Don't give him up on the basis of gossip. See what he has to say before you make judgements"... "Be proud of yourself and if your friends are real friends, they'll accept you. Many of them would admire you, even if they don't say so"... "Tell him you're not ready for oral sex."

Overall: Lots to read, good mix. Positive attitudes.

H DARE £1.60

Our favourite for under 15s

"Feisty, flirty, fortnightly"

"Foxy fellas... phwoar, phwoar and trice phwoar!"

Feature on buying a first bra seems to say this is aimed at around 12 years old. Real-life coma to catwalk story, girls who run their own businesses. Excellent feature on why you shouldn't smoke. "It ain't cool... It stinks... It makes you look mingin... It costs a packet."

Problem pages: "Dare girls have more self respect than to waste time on losers... Tell him you're not ready. Any decent lad will respect that... Stick to boys loser your age."

Overall: Positive, encouraging messages.

ELLE GIRL £2.10

"Dare to be different."

"STI alert - is fear making girls infertile?"... "What blokes find beautiful"... "Peaches Geldof says being a teen is one long beauty contest."

Like its big sister, this is a glossy mag, sophisticated with lots of fashion and beauty features. Lots of boys too, but even these are older and less spottier than in some of the younger mags. Columnist Peaches Geldof (Bob's girl) says: "Celebrities are not people we should look up to and model ourselves on" - ironic really, as that's pretty much what most of the mags are about.

Problem page: "Explain to your mate that you're worried and try to find out why she's shoplifting"... "Remember it's him that has to grow up, not you"... "Your ex is not going to like the fact that you fancy his mate"...

Overall: Tries to be positive but this is for skinnies who take their clothes seriously.

J 17 £2

"The mag that goes fastest." So fast, that this could be almost the last issue..

"Hollywood's hottest kisser reveals all"... "A shark bit my arm off"... "I met my real mum in the supermarket"... "You're not alone: investigation into abuse"... "Break up without cracking up"... Good mixture of features in among the pinups and gossips.

Problem pages: "Drug use is far from romantic"... "No one has the right to harm another human being. He must be stopped"... "Your friend can't continue on this path. She needs help"... "Coming is an everyday word to describe an orgasm."

Overall; Reasonable mixture but tricky to work out quite which age it's aimed at.

MIZZ £1.60

"The biggest fortnightly girls' mag"

"My babysitter touched me up"... "I was nearly kidnapped"... Mizz mouths off on whether atheism should be included in religious education: "We reckon you'd be able to argue way more rationally about your own beliefs than adults"... "Flow chart spesh on puberty blues"... "Watch out for mates who pressure you into tight spots"... "Don't understand what everyone's talking about? Nine times out of ten your mates don't either. Nurse Penny rounds up the words that puzzle you most." These include abortion, chlamydia. HIV, thrush and wet dream. We particularly liked: "Idiot - what to call any lad who tries to push you into doing anything you're not comfy with."

Problem pages: "Your body will develop at its own pace"... Boys aren't the most sophisticated creatures when it comes to emotions"... "Tell your secret and let your mates help."

Overall: Says the right things but as the readership seems very early teens there might be a bit more info than they need to know. Or that you think they need to know.

SUGAR £2.10

"Britain's No 1 Teen Mag"

"Bullies forced me to have a boob job"... Kama Sutra of Kissing... "I was raped at school"... EastEnders' star in Senegal... How to cope when parents split.

Fairly balanced story on breast surgery, basically warning against it. BUT the three examples they quote - including two 18-year-olds - are all very enthusiastic. Good but fairly basic piece on coping with parents' divorce .

Problem pages: "Please don't even think about having sex with someone unless you are in a stable relationship with someone who trusts and respects you"... "Masturbation is a great way of getting to know your body"... "It's illegal for your boy to have sex with you until you're 16."

Sugar also has a Txt Sos, which this month was "Wot is a blowjob? My m8s r saying it all da time and I don't know wot it means."

Well, we knew it had to get there sometime...

Overall: Basically positive and encouraging.But it seems to be sending a number of mixed messages.

THINGS TO GET CONCERNED ABOUT....

l The world of teen mags is incredibly narrow. Yes, girls are utterly absorbed in themselves, their looks, their friends and their hopes of a sex life, but there's a lot more to the world and it would be good if the magazines could broaden their horizons, if only a tiny bit.

l The ads. Every magazine carries pages of ads for ringtones, games and wallpapers for mobile phones. Most of these cost around £1.50 a minute from landlines, more from mobiles. And that's only if they ring once. "If you can't get through on your mobile, call your provider and request to have the ban on Premium numbers lifted." If you pay your daughter's phone bill, then it's time to change to Pay As You Go.

www.thisisthenortheast.co.uk/features