GEORDIE football legend Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne has admitted that he wanted to end it all.
The colourful former England star admitted he contemplated suicide while he was battling with alcoholism.
He made the revelation on a visit to Liverpool to raise funds for a new alcohol addiction clinic.
"There were suicidal thoughts," he said. "I honestly thought I couldn't live life without a drink, but it has got better and better.
"The first six months of living in sobriety, I just felt the word alcoholic was a dangerous word to say. For me to say I was an alcoholic felt like a swear word. But now I can't just sit on my backside. I have to work to become a better recovering alcoholic."
Earlier this month, Gazza announced his professional career was over, while taking part in a charity fundraising event for Newcastle Falcons.
It means that the thousands who turned out to cheer on the 36-year-old at a benefit match for Darlington earlier this year could have witnessed his last performance on a football pitch.
Several clubs, including the Quakers, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sheffield Wednesday and Carlisle, all spoke to him about resurrecting his career.
But he has abandoned any plans for a comeback, hoping only for a testimonial at the home of his beloved Newcastle United.
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