NEWSPAPERS have been full of asterisks recently. After Beckham's text messages it became a tale of the two Ronnies - O'Sullivan and Atkinson.
Big Ron has suddenly become Bigot Ron, and our infatuation with political correctness has meant that some national broadsheets daren't even print the N-word without resorting to three or four asterisks. The F-word that went with it is apparently more acceptable.
Atkinson has blundered, but he was unlucky in that his words were heard in some far-off land and he does not deserve to be pilloried. O'Sullivan's boorish antics were far worse, but he has been allowed to proceed to the semi-finals of the World Snooker Championships knowing that whatever piffling fine he receives is unlikely to make too much of a dent in his winnings.
Rude gestures and an audible obscenity only a week after another snooker player invited his opponent to step outside for a punch-up - it means we now have baize rage where there used to be a cathedral hush.
Perhaps that's what snooker needs to regain its former place in the TV ratings, but whether the title goes to the po-faced Hendry or the excitable O'Sullivan, I personally don't give a pppp.
PEOPLE always want to know what cricket writers do when it's raining. Show some initiative is my usual answer as we still have some space to fill.
Durham's swift demise last Saturday morning allowed me to watch rugby's Durham Cup final on a glorious afternoon, so after a hectic time in good weather it has been rather galling to be reduced to thumb-twiddling by the rain at Derby over the last two days.
Poor Gavin Hamilton can't even twiddle his thumbs as he's had an operation on one of them, bringing to a sadly premature halt his gallant attempt to rediscover his lost form with Durham.
One way of passing the time is to count the number of non-England qualified players on county cricket staffs, of which Derbyshire have six quite apart from their two official overseas players.
In fact, 30 per cent of the cricketers playing for counties last weekend were ineligible for England, which might not seem too bad compared with Premiership football, in which fewer than 30 per cent of the 220 players who started last weekend's games ARE eligible for England.
There is an argument that the cream will always rise to the top and they will be helped along the way by playing against a better quality of opponent. But not all the imports are top quality - some are signed because they don't cost much.
It's a dangerously slippery slope from which the only escape is a gentlemen's agreement between clubs to limit the number of imports. But are there enough gentlemen for it to succeed?
WASPS 37 Munster 32 was a remarkably similar scoreline to Newcastle's triumph over Sale in the Powergen Cup final. Both games offered huge entertainment, but the quality was rather greater in the Heineken Cup semi-final.
Newcastle have qualified for the top tier of European competition for only the second time by virtue of their Twickenham win, but the reward is barely justified as they didn't have to beat a top six Premiership team on their way to the trophy.
The real test for Rob Andrew is to strengthen the Falcons squad sufficiently to compete with his former club, Wasps, who have set the benchmark among English clubs and thought so little of the Powergen Cup that they cleared Newcastle's route to the final by bowing out to Pertemps Bees.
For Newcastle to lose this season's captain, Hugh Vyvyan, to Saracens does not bode well, especially as locks Garath Archer and Mark Andrews have retired through injury. It's all very well trying to sign the ultimate crowd-pleaser in Fijian winger Rupeni Caucaubineca, but to compete at the same level of ferocious intensity as Wasps and Munster they need a few more in the Archer and Andrews mould. The difficulty is to find them with the right level of experience but without the wear and tear which top-level rugby inevitably inflicts.
Several seasoned observers described Wasps v Munster as the greatest game of club rugby they had seen, a label which in my personal experience belongs to Newcastle v Saracens in 1998, the season when they finished first and second in the Premiership. Saracens' recent spending spree indicates a determination to get back to the top. The likes of Newcastle and Leeds may have to follow suit.
A COUPLE of years ago for Sunderland to celebrate a point at Wigan would have seemed bizarre. But it's not difficult to appreciate the reason for last weekend's glee. Another defeat and Sunderland would have gone swiftly from automatic promotion hopefuls to jittery play-off contenders. Now hopefully they will qualify comfortably and won't have to face Millwall, who will pay the price for ending the Black Cats' FA Cup final dreams by being unable to chase success on two fronts.
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