Most people like to go out, meet friends, enjoy a sociable supper. For others the day-to-day interaction we take for granted can be torture. Health Correspondent Barry Nelson talks to one man whose life was made impossible by social anxiety.
FEW people can put their hand on heart and claim they've never been shy. Meeting new people at a party for the first time, a job interview, or holidaying alone are all situations that can make an extrovert occasionally feel tense, nervous or tongue-tied.
Yet for some people the symptoms are so extreme in even the most mundane social situation - such as being served in a shop - that they limit or even avoid social contact altogether.
It is estimated that up to 15 per cent of the population suffers from this little-recognised condition, termed social anxiety disorder. Yet despite being a common psychiatric disorder, which can strike people at any time in their life, it may often be undiagnosed or wrongly dismissed as simple shyness.
For 26-year-old Alex, of Darlington, fear of social situations - also known as social phobia - has made his life a misery from early childhood. He was always fearful of what others were thinking of him and would sweat profusely when he was nervous, but like many sufferers, at first Alex tried to battle on, trying to live as normally as possible. Eventually, it all proved too much and, while he was still at school, Alex he went off the rails, teaming up with other disaffected youngsters.
"I started smoking, drinking and doing drugs. That's when the binge drinking started. I was buying cheap cider and drinking four litres at a time. It made me feel brave. It made me a totally different person," says Alex.
Leaving school at 16, Alex enrolled on a vocational course at a college away from home. "The first few months were torture, I didn't even go to classes until I got friendly with someone. I didn't want to leave my room," he says.
Despite his problems, Alex did well at college and got a place on a more specialised vocational course. But once again, his social phobia made life impossible. "I went on a field trip but I just felt so isolated. I didn't feel welcome so I rang up my mum, she just said come home," he adds.
For two years, Alex barely left his room, unable to even go into town shopping or meet friends. He became almost completely isolated.
Various attempts at studying or working all ended in failure a few years ago, so recently, his mother made him seek medical help. Now, after undergoing cognitive therapy organised by a local mental health trust, Alex feels well enough to go into Darlington shopping. "It was the first time I had been in a shop for two years," says Alex.
Since the therapy his mother has noticed a real improvement but she knows it is going to take some time. "I think it is going to be a long haul but I think we will get there," she says. She has also written to the family of Matthew Booth, 28, from Lupset, Wakefield, West Yorkshire, a social anxiety disorder sufferer who died from a cocktail of drugs and drink recently.
Matthew was so frightened of social contact he would lock himself in his room for days. "I wrote to Matthew's family to say 'you are not alone' and that I agreed with them 100 per cent when they say there is not enough understanding of this condition," says Alex's mum.
Doctors are still reluctant to give Alex a positive diagnosis of social phobia but he and his mother are both convinced the evidence is overwhelming. "When I read about social phobia on the Internet I thought 'that is me, that is spot on'," says Alex.
Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist at the University of Bath, is one of the experts dealing with the condition. She has successfully treated many cases. ''Many people suffer from this problem,'' she says. ''They feel so inadequate and embarrassed in social situations that they can suffer deep distress and panic attacks at the thought of even minimal contact with people.''
She points out that all of us naturally react differently in social situations - introverts will always be more uncomfortable in crowds, for example.
''The difference between those suffering from social anxiety and those who simply feel shy is that they begin to actively avoid any situation where they believe there is even a risk of them feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed. It is a fear of humiliation taken to an extreme and can lead to people avoiding any social connections.''
The condition is a form of agoraphobia, which instead of being characterised by the more recognised fear of open spaces, is exhibited in a fear of situations involving people.
''There are two common triggers,'' she explains. ''Sufferers may have been influenced by a key figure in their life, such as a parent who was shy or inhibited socially. The child may subconsciously imitate the same behaviour, which becomes more marked as they get older.
''Alternatively, the condition can be caused if someone has once experienced a deeply traumatic or upsetting experience while out in public. The fear of repeating that fills them with such dread they start limiting their lives to avoid any risk of it re-occurring.''
Anxiety and fear may also trigger uncomfortable physical symptoms - sweating, shaking, blushing - which sufferers believe other people will notice. This, in turn, increases their anxiety.
People usually take action when they realise the problem is stopping them reach their goals, whether it's getting a job or just simply walking the dog, or is adversely affecting their personal relationships.
Blair stresses that the condition is treatable. ''Recovery is quite fast if you are motivated. I had one client who couldn't even walk to the local bus stop and after three months' help ended up going on a holiday abroad for the first time.''
Recognising the problem is the first step forward. Sufferers should seek the help of their GP, who may recommend help from a specialist, normally using cognitive behavioural therapy. If the condition is linked to low self-esteem or depression, drug treatment may also be beneficial.
* Alex's name has been changed.
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article