HERE'S a tip. If your children have just come back from a school trip to Whitby, think twice before you accept a sweet from them. It's probably flavoured with pepper, garlic, chilli, or anything that makes you want to spit it out quickly, while they roll around laughing.

Yes, they will have been to the joke shop. It's a great Whitby tradition. The Funtasia joke shop, in Church Street, has been there for around 30 years. Wendy Dimond's been there for four, first as staff now as owner. But - occupational hazard - it takes a lot to make her laugh.

"That's why I'm always on the lookout for new jokes. I love to find something different," she says.

But the shop is still crammed with the old favourites - itching powder, nail through the finger, gory wounds, dirty face soap, exploding pens.

"And anything that involves toilets or bodily functions. There's more jokes about them than anything else. So there's dog mess - with or without flies - whoopee cushions, messy diapers, fart putty. Never fails," says Wendy, who never takes her work home with her.

But bad news for little monsters everywhere. Jokes have got safer and rules have got stricter. Some of the items designed to give you a shock have been banned - because they could interfere with heart pacemakers. New health and safety regulations mean you have to be 14 to buy bangers and puffing cigarettes. And to buy fart gas and stink bombs you have to be a mature and level-headed 18.

So you can be trusted with a car sooner than a stink bomb. Goodness knows what Dennis the Menace would make if it.

But it's not as limiting as you might think, because although children love the shop, Funtasia's biggest customers, says Wendy, are men over 40.

And you thought middle-aged men were grown up.

"We have lots of groups of men coming to Whitby for the weekend now, stag dos, and fishing weekends, that sort of thing, and they love coming in here buying tricks to play on each other."

Other regulars include actors filming the many television series in and around Whitby. "I suppose they get bored with all that waiting round, but they come in here every series." And a supermodel raided the shop when giving a party at Mulgrave Castle.

But the biggest customers of all are the Goths who swarm into the shop during the twice yearly conventions. As well as jokes, the shop also sells party items, fancy dress costumes, wigs and masks "Roaring trade at Hallowe'en", daft things like "Iron Man" chests, and a range of "adult" items, including a "giant pecker party tray" and a range of sex toys.

"Things that would have been quite shocking five or ten years ago are much more widely accepted now, a bit of a laugh. Again, it's middle-aged men who buy most of those, often for their wives, which is a bit of a let down really," says Wendy.

The women get their own back - there's plenty of demand from young women on hen parties. But it's still the jokes that get them. Wendy often gets asked for the jokes people remember from their childhoods, such as the invisible dog lead, which she hopes to get, and the Pharaoh's Serpent, which has proved impossible "probably because the chemical, maybe mercury, that it uses isn't considered safe any more."

So she contents herself with the some new jokes - like the sugar that dissolves to produce a mass of "insects" floating to the top of the cup.

"Now that's one that really does make me laugh," says Wendy, which means it must be a good one.

Oh yes, one final tip - when you're in Funtasia, don't try to pick up the nice shiny coin from the floor. It is, of course, stuck down.

Well, what else do you expect in a joke shop?

* Funtasia, 153 Church St, Whitby. Wendy Dimond also does balloon decorating for weddings etc. Tel: (01947) 601194.

Softening the blow

of holiday horrors

travel insurance - don't leave home without it. Getting ill, robbed or attacked in a foreign country is no fun. Having to fork out thousands of pounds to pay for it doesn't help.

Buying insurance from the travel agent is easy, but can be expensive. It can often cost more than double other policies. Supermarkets, Boots and the Post Office all offer very reasonably priced policies, BUT:

l Check that they have the cover you need. Especially important if you're going to be doing risky sports.

l Check that you've told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, especially about any medical conditions or visits to the doctor. It might mean a few pounds extra premium but could save you thousands.

l If you're likely to have more than one foreign holiday a year, then take out annual travel insurance - much cheaper.

l Read the small print. Especially important if you're off to one of the clubbing capitals of Europe. Most travel insurance does not cover drink or drug related accidents.

For your average family holiday, you can get everyone covered for less than £40, maybe even less than £30 if you check on the Internet. Now imagine the worst case scenario - accidents, thefts, ambulances, a hospital stay and escorted flight home. Still think it's not worth it?

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