England hero Ashley Giles has revealed how he has thought about giving up his international career after becoming increasingly affected by the constant criticism of his performances.
Warwickshire's left-arm spinner was rightly hailed as a match-winner by captain Michael Vaughan after his displays with bat and ball helped England to a thrilling four-wicket victory in the final Test at Trent Bridge on Sunday to seal a 3-0 series whitewash over New Zealand.
His unbeaten 36 off only 45 balls helped England battle through a nervous run-chase, while he also claimed a four-wicket haul on English soil for the first time in two years.
It ended a difficult 12 months for Giles, during which time he has questioned his place within the side because of the continued criticism he has received both from the crowds and the media.
But he has bounced back strongly and stepped back from a monumental decision and intends to continue fighting for his place and his inclusion in an England side he believes is ''very special.''
Giles stressed: ''I take great pride in playing for my country and I love it, but there comes a time when you feel that no one actually wants you there so why keep doing it?
''That's never been the case with the management and the team but otherwise I might have stepped away and let someone else do it. I came back well from Sri Lanka but the West Indies was really hard and in some ways I think I've been over-critical of myself sometimes.
''I didn't get much opportunity in the West Indies anyway. The seam bowlers did the job so I couldn't really do much and this is the first series since then and I think I've performed pretty well.
''Everything built up over the last 12 months and came to a head and it's just turned around really nicely in this game. It's something to build on and hopefully I can take a lot of confidence from that.''
Since that series in Sri Lanka before Christmas, which was a triumph individually with 18 wickets even if England returned beaten in the series, Giles has struggled to feel comfortable even in a successful England side.
He delivered just 31 overs in the Caribbean as England's seamers completed an historic series success, but recovered his self-belief against New Zealand with an impressive second innings spell at Lord's before claiming six wickets in the match and making crucial contributions with the bat in both innings.
''I've been very down the last few months,'' admitted Giles. ''Although we've had great success, I just feel like I haven't contributed to a lot of it and I keep getting stick from the media or the crowd.
"I get shouts of 'Giles, you're rubbish,' or 'Get off', and then Sky also got an e-mail asking 'What is the point of Ashley Giles?' It can be quite hurtful and get you down.
''If it hadn't been for those people around me like my family and the England management being so supportive of me I might have just held my hands up and said 'take it away and let somebody else do it' - you can only get knocked so much before it really hurts.
''It hurts more when it actually comes from your own supporters and recently it's happened here. I've come on for an over and people are already shouting for me to be taken off and all those things can be very hurtful.''
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