TV review

IF, like me, you were expecting an investigation into little green men and alien abductions, you would have been disappointed by this very serious documentary.

From the start, we were told that flying saucers do exist but sadly, that did not mean we were to be treated to the first interview with the real ET or a tour of Starship Enterprise.

The UFOs this programme concentrated on were those created by scientists throughout the world during times of war.

While the armed forces were fighting the Second World War on the front line, it seems scientists were trying to invent amazing new craft.

Their intention was not to get into space but to target the enemy with aircraft that could dodge radar - thus cashing in on the element of surprise.

Hitler had intended to end his war campaign with a spectacular display from a UFO and, over time, the Russians and Americans have spent huge amounts of time, money and brain power trying to create the ultimate craft.

As fascinating as all this was, the main interest came when we talked to the people who don't believe a word of it and are convinced there is something a lot more sinister going on.

There was black and white footage of alien hunters looking up into the sky and asking for an audience with any passing star ships.

Using the tried and tested method of speaking English very slowly in order to be understood, they shouted up to the heavens and then wondered why the inhabitants of Mars weren't willing to pop in for a cup of tea.

Back to today and we met an American man who spends all his spare time in the desert trying to see what the American secret service are up to.

The fact they are a secret service has not stopped this intrepid guy chasing through sand dunes in a camouflage truck so he can't be seen.

You can only assume he's not close to finding out what UFO action is going on or the powers that be would have made sure he wasn't able to tell all to the nearest camera crew. A selection of movie clips also helped to fuel the notion that whatever the official types want us to think, the human race will always be fascinated by the possibility that we are not alone and there is something else out there, if only we could make contact.

l Steve Pratt is away

Dirty Dusting,

Newcastle Theatre Royal

HAVING heard reports of Dirty Dusting since it was first produced at the Customs House, South Shields, in 2003, I was delighted to have the opportunity to see it for myself.

Written by two local lads, Ed Waugh and Trevor Wood, and featuring local actors, this is a real North-East production whose dialogue might, like Billy Elliot, have to be sub-titled if the play moved South.

Leading ladies Gwen Doran, Helen Russell and Jean Southern fly the flag for the Grey Panthers as 'environment enhancement operatives' who are on the brink of being retired against their wishes. They don't know how they'll cope without the few bob their cleaning jobs bring in, and then Olive has a brainwave. Elsie, Gladys and Olive become the Telephone Belles, fulfilling the sexual fantasies of pervy men who ring the hotline number to speak to Kylie, Madonna and Marilyn.

The 'girls' revelled in their performances, and so did the audience, largely female, who were shrieking with laughter to the extent that some of the lines were lost. The lady behind me wiped away tears of mirth as she repeated each funny line, followed by: "Oh, dear!"

David Whittaker is the cleaning supervisor eagerly looking forward to the departure of his feisty charges, who gets his comeuppance in the end.

There's an engaging naivety about the whole thing, which makes the risque dialogue funny when it might have caused offence, and the cast, bless them, appeared stunned by the enthusiastic applause from a packed Theatre Royal. I wish them every success.

l Runs until Saturday. Booking Office: 0870 905 5060

Sue Heath

Blithe Spirit, Darlington Civic Theatre

A RARE recent professional theatre outing for Noel Coward's classic comedy produced a full house and a definite sense of the spirit being willing, even if the supporting flesh grows a little weaker each year. The first of Ian Dickens Productions' summer season shows, this was sold heavily on the comedy character abilities of TV's Keeping Up Appearances pair Judy Cornwall and David Griffin. Cornwall could have been born to play the hapless medium Madame Arcati, who can't go into a trance after eating pigeon pie and cucumber sandwiches. Griffin finds the going a little tougher as supremely insincere thriller writer Charles Condomine, who invites Arcati for a seance as the plot for a novel but unleashes the ghost of his first wife Elvira (Holly Smith).

The comedic exchanges between Elvira, who only Charles can see and hear, and second wife Ruth (Sarah Mowat) are nicely played, but Griffin always retains that air of trustworthiness which would allow him to sell hamburgers to Ronald McDonald. Willowy stage newcomer Smith romps through the chance to portray Elvira the grey-faced ghost, while Mowat probably has the harder task of transforming from frump to free spirit during a play which Ian Dickens has wisely trimmed down from three hours. There is a slight twist in the tale for those who caught the re-run of the 1945 film version, but Darlington's beautiful old theatre and a spirited season ahead ensures the prospect of some enjoyable nights.

l Runs until Saturday. Box Office: (01325) 486555

Viv Hardwick