The Most Pampered Pets In Britain (ITV1); Honey I Ruined The House (Ch4): IN the past, I have been accused of spoiling my pet rabbit Scoop, who has the run of the garden and the house and a variety of treats on tap.

But Scoop looks positively hard done by in comparison to the animals featured on The Most Pampered Pets in Britain. These pets aren't just loved, they're smothered with designer outfits, underfloor heating and the finest foods.

We met Jan Einzig and her Westie called Gucci (of course). Gucci is not a well dog but his last days will be spent in the lap of luxury.

In between his meals of butter fried chicken - surely not the best dinner for a sick pooch - Gucci is getting ready for his birthday at Home House club, where he is an honorary member. Jan has already spent £12,000 on vet's bills so a few extra pounds on a birthday bash won't go amiss.

Jasper the Labrador Doberman cross also likes a party but he can afford to pay for his own do. He inherited £50,000 from his previous owner and is now worth £130,000 and lives in a stately home in Somerset.

Billy the West Highland terrier wears outfits to match his eccentric owner Diana Sutherland-Hill's wardrobe. Diana told us, in all seriousness, that Billy (or Sir William, to give him his full title) wears diamonds when he is in London but kicks back in a Barbour jacket when he is at home. He eats like a king, with a full English breakfast every morning, but at least he has a personal trainer to keep him in shape.

And it doesn't end there. When Impy the cat died, her owners donated a chapel of rest to a pet crematorium so she could continue her pampered life in feline heaven. But I couldn't help wondering when kindness becomes cruelty - should a dog be carried around Regents Park every day instead of going walkies? And are green-lipped mussels really a good alternative to Pedigree Chum? What most of these owners lacked was some plain talking to tell them to pull themselves together and get their priorities and lives in order.

Maybe they should have called in Naomi Cleaver, presenter of the new makeover show Honey I Ruined the House. Design consultant Naomi does not mince her words as she looks at the disastrous results when ordinary members of the public try to replicate what they have seen on all those DIY shows.

Unlike in the BBC's DIY SOS, most of the people Naomi spoke to were not lazy or in need - they simply didn't know which end of a hammer to use. Naomi breezed through these disaster areas, turning up her nose and laughing at people's ideas of style. Of course, it was all put right before the end of the show, but as long as there is a Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen and a Linda Barker giving crazy ideas to uncreative people, there'll be enough ammunition to keep this programme running.

Published: 24/06/2004